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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
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[WOMAN] Kiki, I made you this scrapbook,
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which I know is a bit weird,
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but it all means nothing without you,
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because you are my everything.
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It's like my life only started that day
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you rode into Clitopolis
for that bounty hunting job.
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I didn't exactly have girls
knocking down my door,
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before you did.
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Kind of hard when everyone's
obsessed with my moms,
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the great Leanne and Anne,
the lives of the party.
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And I'm just there, too.
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The most boring royal in
the history of Clitopolis,
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as voted by the people.
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That was a tough day.
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But look at me now!
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No one ever thought they'd
see the day Princess Saira
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would have a hot as fuck partner.
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I can't be exiled to the singles zone
at this year's Lesbian Ball.
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I know, we're a bit of an odd match,
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like you love travelling,
and danger, and partying,
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and I'm scared to go
anywhere, and of everything,
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and I'd rather stay home
and work on my magic tricks.
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But you know what they say?
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Opposites attract.
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You complete me.
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And I know in my heart
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we'll be together forever
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and ever,
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and ever.
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You're dumped.
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Fuck.
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[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
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♪ She's a lesbian ♪
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♪ She's in space ♪
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♪ And she's also a princess ♪
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Oh, and she's very sad.
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[SAIRA CRYING]
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Look, maybe if things were different
and you were a different person
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and I was a different person,
maybe this could have worked for me.
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But, you're you...
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- [SOBS]
- and I'm me.
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[SAIRA] I'm sorry.
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Please stop crying.
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I literally can't.
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Hey, it's okay, you'll be all right.
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You are really good with your hands.
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[KIKI MOANING]
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Oh my God, oh. [MOANING]
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[KIKI MOANING]
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Oh, you're so good at that.
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[CHUCKLES]
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It's my sleight of hand.
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You're smothering me.
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We've only been dating like two weeks,
and you made this terrifying book.
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[BOOK CLANKS]
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[WHIMPERS] No.
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I just thought dating
a space princess would be more,
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ah... fun.
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I don't wanna Gayflix
and chill every night.
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I'm sorry.
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And the "Sorry"s
always with the "Sorry"s.
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Sorry, oh, sorry for... being sorry.
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[KIKI GRUNTS]
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Can we at least still go to
the Lesbian Ball together?
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Absolutely not,
I need to get outta here.
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Goodbye forever. [MIMICS EXPLOSION]
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Pretend you saw a smoke bomb and I'm gone.
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[SAIRA SNIFFLING]
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[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
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- Wait, Saira.
- Yeah?
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You're wearing my jumper.
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Oh. [CRYING]
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[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
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[KIKI SIGHS]
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Oh man, fuck,
that's my jumper, too.
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Mm-hmm. [CRYING]
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Ugh, you know what?
Keep it, it can be your birthday present.
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[MOMS] Yay!
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I will never...
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take it off.
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[BOTH] Oh.
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Yeah, I gotta get the
hell outta here, I'm sorry.
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Fuck, ugh, it's contagious,
goodbye forever.
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I'll miss you so much.
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[MOMS CRYING]
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Oh, and of course I'll
miss you, too, Royal Pussy.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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You always bring the party.
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This hurts me more than it hurts you.
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Honestly, I can't believe
it lasted that long.
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[MOMS] We told you the
scrapbook was too much.
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[UPBEAT PERCUSSIVE MUSIC PLAYING]
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Okay, so that start
was pretty shit house.
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But welcome to...
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[ANNE HUMMING]
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That's a cool drum roll.
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[MOMS] Our birthday party!
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[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
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For Saira.
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[AUDIENCE MEMBER] Oh.
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[LIGHTS BUZZING]
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[PERSON COUGHING]
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We can't believe she's 22 today.
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23.
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We can't believe she's
23 today. [SNIFFLES]
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Which means it's that time of the year
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where we see if she can finally
summon her royal labrys.
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[AUDIENCE MEMBER]
Think she'll fail again?
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[AUDIENCE MEMBER] Is the sky rainbow?
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[HAWK SHRIEKS]
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For thousands of years,
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the Clitopian royal
bloodline has been born
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with the ability to summon one of the most
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powerful weapons known
to I-I-lesbian kind.
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[MOMS] The labrys.
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Let us now turn to the
ancient scriptures of Wiccapedia.
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[CLEARS THROAT]
This all began back on Earth, it says...
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[LEANNE] "In the 1970s,
the labrys was adopted
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by the lesbian community
as a feminist symbol
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representing strength
and self-sufficiency."
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[ANNE] The summonings
happened first try for us.
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But you know what they
say, six time's a charm.
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[MOMS] Try not to do that
over the thinking thing you do.
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Wait, what do you mean by that?
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[MOMS] Let the summoning begin!
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[AUDIENCE CHEERS]
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- ♪ Lesbian ♪
- [SAIRA GROANING]
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♪ Lesbian ♪
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[SAIRA GROANING]
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♪ Lesbian ♪
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♪ Lesbian ♪
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- ♪ Lesbian ♪
- [SAIRA GROANING]
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[MOMS] It's happening.
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[SAIRA GROANING]
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♪ Lesbian ♪
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♪ Lesbian ♪
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[SINGERS VOCALISING]
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- [SINGING STOPS]
- [SAIRA PANTING]
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- [AUDIENCE] Oh.
- Boo.
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Oh, for fucks sake.
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[LEANNE] Oh, sweetie,
that was really tough.
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Especially for us.
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[ANNE] It is so hard
to watch you struggle,
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but let's not have it ruin a good party.
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Who wants to see us dance?
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[LEANNE] I do, I wanna see us dancing.
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♪ Party, party, party, party, party ♪
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[LEANNE] Great dancing!
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[BIRDS CHIRP]
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[SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪ Really, really, really sad ♪
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♪ Really, really, really sad ♪
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[SAIRA] Kiki, ever
since you've disappeared...
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who else can I talk to?
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I'm lost.
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When you left, you took
everything with you.
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The absence of you is everywhere I look.
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♪ Really, really, really sad ♪
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[SAIRA] It's like a huge hole
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has been pumped through my chest.
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[SAIRA SCREAMING]
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But in a way, I'm glad.
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The pain is my only
reminder that you were real.
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
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[DAMSEL WHIMPERING]
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[KIKI LAUGHS]
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[GUN ZAPS]
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[DAMSEL YELPS]
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[DAMSEL WHIMPERS]
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
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Kiki the Destroyer, for all
your bounty hunting needs.
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Hmm.
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Couldn't you just watch me, like, all day?
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Kapow.
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[PHONE CHIMING]
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Fuck, I'm good.
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[DOOR OPENS]
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Um? Yeah, no, this is my room.
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[WOMEN SCREAMING]
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Take them, not me, what the fuck!
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[KIKI PANTING]
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No, no, no, no, please,
I'm too hot to die.
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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W-What the fuck?
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Where am I?
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Oh, what is this?
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[MALIEN LAUGHING]
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[MALIEN] Welcome to our cave,
that is our toxic home brew.
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[KIKI] Who the hell are you?
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Who are we?
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We're the Straight White Maliens.
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[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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- Who?
- Oh, come on.
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Are you, are you serious?
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The Straight White Maliens.
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We used to be the most powerful beings
in the whole universe.
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Who?
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Yeah, of course, everyone
has forgotten about us.
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Everyone!
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You stripped our ancestors
of all their power and you,
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you left our kind for dead.
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And we were exiled to this man cave.
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00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:28,880
But we've had a gut full of
being pushed us bloody side.
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00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:30,210
I'm getting upset.
209
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,170
You don't wanna see us upset right now.
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00:10:32,260 --> 00:10:36,890
Oh, you don't want to see
us get bloody. [MUMBLING]
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00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,220
It's not good.
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00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:41,140
Let me guess, you wanna
rule the world again?
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00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:44,060
No, wrong, incorrect.
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00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:45,560
Then what do you want from me?
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00:10:45,650 --> 00:10:46,650
[MALIEN] You?
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00:10:46,690 --> 00:10:48,650
- This isn't about you.
- [MALIEN 2 CHUCKLES]
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00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,360
[MALIEN 2] You are just the bait.
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00:10:52,030 --> 00:10:52,940
What?
219
00:10:53,030 --> 00:10:55,240
You see, we can't get
the hot chicks anymore.
220
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,820
So for thousands of
years we've been slaving
221
00:10:57,910 --> 00:10:59,740
over building this chick magnet.
222
00:11:00,490 --> 00:11:01,330
[CHICKEN CLUCKS]
223
00:11:01,450 --> 00:11:02,700
But Larry fucked it up!
224
00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:04,870
Well, I don't hear you
complaining when you eat
225
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,640
these delicious, fresh eggs every morning,
226
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:07,920
Your eggs are shit!
227
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,750
You know those eggs are shit!
228
00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:12,510
What are you gonna feed
the chicks when we get 'em?
229
00:11:12,670 --> 00:11:14,930
Anyway, shut up, I'm
gonna feed the chicks our--
230
00:11:15,010 --> 00:11:16,360
Oh no, wait, that makes a lot of sense.
231
00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:17,260
[LARRY] Thank you.
232
00:11:17,340 --> 00:11:19,050
Anyways, long story short,
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00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:22,430
we ended up buying a new
Swedish chick magnet online.
234
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:25,100
But when it arrived,
what did we discover?
235
00:11:25,190 --> 00:11:27,190
The bloody battery's not included.
236
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,770
Oh, hate that.
Yeah, I do hate that.
237
00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,530
[JOSH MUMBLING]
238
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:36,450
And according to the manual,
the battery is Princess Saira
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00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,410
of Clitopolis's royal labrys.
240
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What the fuck?
241
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,160
That seems weirdly specific.
242
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,910
It's so stupid!
243
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:48,130
Especially because we can't get past
244
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that dumb Safety Bubble
protecting gay space.
245
00:11:51,340 --> 00:11:54,880
And that little princess
is some sort of weird shut in.
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00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,760
It says she literally never goes anywhere.
247
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Literally never.
248
00:12:00,260 --> 00:12:03,430
But according to the
manual, there is one thing
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00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:07,850
that could lure her out
of gay space. [GIGGLING]
250
00:12:07,940 --> 00:12:09,480
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
251
00:12:17,030 --> 00:12:18,280
[PHONE RINGING]
252
00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,780
Kiki, finally.
253
00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:21,870
Wait, oh my God, where are you?
254
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,450
Saira, you gotta help me,
I've been captured by these
255
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:28,420
things called Straight White Maliens.
256
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,170
- Who?
- Oh, fuck you!
257
00:12:30,540 --> 00:12:32,920
Now listen, princess,
we need your royal labrys.
258
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,210
What, why?
259
00:12:34,340 --> 00:12:35,610
For super tough cool dude stuff.
260
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:38,130
So if you don't want us
to drown your beloved Kiki
261
00:12:38,220 --> 00:12:41,050
in our toxic home brew,
you will bring it here,
262
00:12:41,180 --> 00:12:45,720
to the worst, most dangerous
place in the universe.
263
00:12:46,060 --> 00:12:47,270
[SAIRA GASPS]
264
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,060
- But...
- Saira, please tell me
265
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:50,850
you actually have the labrys.
266
00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,320
[MANTLE CHIMES]
267
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,500
Oh yeah, totally, I've got it.
268
00:12:56,530 --> 00:12:58,240
Yeah, it's, it's not on me right now,
269
00:12:58,320 --> 00:12:59,740
but I definitely have it.
270
00:12:59,860 --> 00:13:00,950
Oh, thank God.
271
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:04,700
Great, bring it here in the
next 24 hours and come alone,
272
00:13:04,790 --> 00:13:06,660
or lover girl is going down,
273
00:13:06,790 --> 00:13:09,620
or should I say going drown? [CACKLING]
274
00:13:09,710 --> 00:13:10,710
Oh.
275
00:13:11,370 --> 00:13:13,670
[GROUP CACKLING]
276
00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:17,210
Going drown. [CACKLING]
277
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,970
[GROUP CACKLING]
278
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:20,260
[TIMER BEEPS]
279
00:13:20,970 --> 00:13:25,970
Kiki, Kiki! [WHIMPERING]
280
00:13:33,270 --> 00:13:36,020
[SAIRA GRUNTING]
281
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,320
[SAIRA CRYING]
282
00:13:44,870 --> 00:13:46,700
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
283
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,450
[MONSTER] Why did you do that?
284
00:13:49,540 --> 00:13:52,120
You'll never summon the labrys.
285
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:57,210
The only royal to fail
at this simple tradition.
286
00:13:58,550 --> 00:14:00,840
You're a disappointment to your moms.
287
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:05,220
To everyone. [LAUGHS]
288
00:14:05,350 --> 00:14:07,560
Kiki's doomed because of you.
289
00:14:09,020 --> 00:14:13,190
If you weren't broken,
you would have your labrys.
290
00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:25,070
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
291
00:14:28,580 --> 00:14:31,000
[MOUSE CLICKING]
292
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,080
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
293
00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:41,800
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
294
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:46,300
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
295
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,980
[POSTER] Can't believe
Kiki was with her.
296
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,480
[POSTER] Saira sucks.
297
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,710
[POSTER] How can you be a princess,
298
00:14:55,730 --> 00:14:58,060
- and not even like to party?
- [POSTER] Saira still sucks.
299
00:14:58,150 --> 00:15:00,070
[POSTER] I heard she's straight.
300
00:15:00,150 --> 00:15:01,320
[POSTER] Ew.
301
00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:05,530
[SAIRA SIGHS]
302
00:15:06,820 --> 00:15:09,160
[BLADE] You all need
to give her a break.
303
00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,700
No wonder she can't summon her labrys.
304
00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:15,120
She should come to my club, I can help.
305
00:15:15,210 --> 00:15:19,250
Blade, your resident weapons
expert, kisses, motherfucker.
306
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:21,090
[SAIRA GASPS]
307
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,420
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
308
00:15:25,180 --> 00:15:29,640
♪ Now it is cool, cool, cool,
Cool, cool, cool, yeah, yeah ♪
309
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:33,890
♪ To be queer, to be queer ♪
310
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,600
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
311
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,110
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
312
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:42,070
[DOOR KNOCKING]
313
00:15:42,190 --> 00:15:44,950
[ANNE] Saira, we left
some food outside, okay?
314
00:15:45,030 --> 00:15:46,200
It's a banh mi.
315
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,160
[LEANNE] Also, honey, we,
we hate to bring it up, but--
316
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,870
[ANNE] We put you down as single
for the Lesbian Ball tomorrow night.
317
00:15:55,290 --> 00:15:57,960
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
318
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,420
No need, I'll be going with Kiki.
319
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,380
[MOMS SIGH]
320
00:16:03,460 --> 00:16:05,260
[LEANNE] Oh, thank God
she's taken you back.
321
00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:07,280
- [ANNE] Oh my goodness.
- [LEANNE] That is a relief.
322
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,430
[ANNE] Oh, it's just
so, so sad to be single.
323
00:16:10,510 --> 00:16:12,510
Well, we can only imagine it is.
324
00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,470
[MOMS] Never done it, never want to.
325
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,810
Like everyone can see it,
326
00:16:16,980 --> 00:16:18,660
'cause there's no one
standing next to you,
327
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,440
and when someone's single,
328
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,650
you just imagine them in a
food court, by themselves.
329
00:16:23,730 --> 00:16:28,820
Eating alone, chatting to the cleaner
who doesn't even want to talk to you.
330
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:31,570
She's got her own life,
she's not bothered with you.
331
00:16:31,660 --> 00:16:33,490
You look sad, sad, sad, sad.
332
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:34,580
[ANNE RETCHES]
333
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:37,000
[ANNE] Okay, well, we'll pop
the two of you on the list.
334
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,040
[LEANNE] So glad
you've got a girlfriend.
335
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:41,420
[ANNE] And you're not alone.
336
00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:44,460
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
337
00:16:46,010 --> 00:16:48,760
♪ Looking for an awesome spaceship ♪
338
00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:53,970
♪ To take me where I need ♪
339
00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:56,100
♪ To go ♪
340
00:16:56,180 --> 00:16:57,180
[SAIRA] Oh.
341
00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:58,810
Umm.
342
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,480
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
343
00:17:04,570 --> 00:17:07,650
♪ 'Cause if I had an awesome spaceship ♪
344
00:17:07,740 --> 00:17:09,530
Mm-mm.
345
00:17:09,610 --> 00:17:12,660
♪ I just might make it ♪
346
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:15,450
Whoa, awesome.
347
00:17:15,580 --> 00:17:19,830
♪ Where I need to go ♪
348
00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:23,080
[MYSTICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
349
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:30,220
Hey, who's there?
350
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:34,140
[SAIRA SCREAMING]
351
00:17:34,640 --> 00:17:36,640
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
352
00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,270
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- [SAIRA GRUNTING]
353
00:17:42,350 --> 00:17:43,560
[SHIP BEEPING]
354
00:17:43,810 --> 00:17:45,360
Uh-oh.
355
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:48,320
[SHIP BLASTING]
356
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,990
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
357
00:17:53,450 --> 00:17:55,450
[MOANING]
358
00:17:55,620 --> 00:17:56,620
Huh?
359
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,700
[GASPS]
360
00:17:58,790 --> 00:17:59,790
Huh?
361
00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,460
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
362
00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:06,090
Oh, no.
363
00:18:13,970 --> 00:18:17,010
[SHIP COUGHING]
364
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:21,560
[SHIP] Ugh, I thought I was never gonna
get off planet of the lesbos.
365
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:22,690
Who's there?
366
00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,190
It's me, the ship.
367
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:29,320
You don't wanna know how long
I've been trapped down there,
368
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,690
the things I've seen.
369
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:33,610
What's your name, sir?
370
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:35,700
[NERVOUSLY] Um, Saira.
371
00:18:35,780 --> 00:18:37,780
[SHIP] That sounds like a girl's name.
372
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:38,910
[SAIRA CHUCKLES]
373
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:41,040
- I am a girl.
- [SHIP] What?
374
00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:42,750
Girls can't be pilots.
375
00:18:44,830 --> 00:18:48,090
Yeah, this was a mistake,
take me back please.
376
00:18:48,170 --> 00:18:50,590
Here's what I'll do,
I'll be your temporary ship.
377
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:54,220
I'll drop you off at a nail salon
and we'll go our separate ways.
378
00:18:55,390 --> 00:18:57,050
So, Sahara, where are you from?
379
00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,600
Clitopolis.
380
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:02,350
Yeah, but like where are you from?
381
00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,310
The palace?
382
00:19:03,390 --> 00:19:06,190
No, no, no, where are you really from?
383
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:10,610
Well, my cultural heritage
is half Clitopian, and half Indian.
384
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,360
Namaste.
385
00:19:18,410 --> 00:19:23,040
[SAIRA] Hey, um, please turn
around, you don't understand.
386
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:24,680
- [SAIRA] I, I've never been
outside of the--
387
00:19:24,710 --> 00:19:27,880
[RETCH] Oh God, that was an awful night.
388
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:30,000
I hope that Shetland pony survived.
389
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:33,380
Oh my God, this fucking
song again. [GASPS]
390
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:38,300
♪ See my face,
I'm the Safety Bubble ♪
391
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:44,480
♪ That stops all the trouble
Getting into gay space ♪
392
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:45,890
Hey daddy.
393
00:19:45,980 --> 00:19:46,980
[SHIP] Huh?
394
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:51,860
I am Safety Bubble,
fierce protector of gay space.
395
00:19:52,530 --> 00:19:54,590
They say space is a vacuum,
but nothing sucks like me.
396
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,610
What are you doin'?
397
00:19:55,860 --> 00:19:57,160
[SHIP]Oh, let us out of here.
398
00:19:57,450 --> 00:19:58,970
Why the hell would you
want to go out there?
399
00:19:58,990 --> 00:20:01,780
It's straight, also, it's like
way dangerous or whatever.
400
00:20:01,870 --> 00:20:04,450
Or as they say in German.
[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]
401
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:07,120
[SHIP] Danger is my middle name, baby.
402
00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,240
Ew, how did you even get in here?
You can definitely leave.
403
00:20:10,290 --> 00:20:13,300
[SAFETY BUBBLE SCREAMING]
404
00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,130
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
405
00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:19,510
[SHIP] Yes, sweet freedom!
Beautiful, isn't it?
406
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:21,680
[EXPLOSION BLASTS]
407
00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:23,010
[SAIRA] Oh, no.
408
00:20:23,100 --> 00:20:24,450
[GIRLFRIEND] Babe, what's for dinner?
409
00:20:24,470 --> 00:20:25,600
[BOYFRIEND] Chicken.
410
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:26,890
[COUPLE SCREAMING]
411
00:20:26,980 --> 00:20:28,270
[SAIRA] Oh, no.
412
00:20:28,730 --> 00:20:30,520
This one's for my bodacious babe.
413
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:36,490
♪ Baby girl, let's go on adventures ♪
414
00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,530
♪ Til the day we're in dentures ♪
415
00:20:39,610 --> 00:20:42,080
♪ And grow old, stay young ♪
416
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,500
♪ I know you're the one ♪
417
00:20:48,290 --> 00:20:50,000
I love you, baby girl.
418
00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:53,630
[SOBBING] It's worse than I ever imagined!
419
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:59,050
[FEMALE SINGING]
♪ Approximately 23 hours left ♪
420
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:04,640
Okay, okay, now there are gonna be a lot
of really hot chicks coming in here soon.
421
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:06,180
- Yeah.
- And we need to learn
422
00:21:06,270 --> 00:21:09,690
- how to charm them bloody heck out of 'em.
- Mm.
423
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,600
Now Josh is our expert speaker
424
00:21:11,690 --> 00:21:12,690
- for today.
- Hi.
425
00:21:12,730 --> 00:21:16,230
He was once successful
in getting a woman's number.
426
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:18,150
Now we don't know what
happened after that.
427
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,030
We called the number
and the line was dead.
428
00:21:21,610 --> 00:21:23,320
I dunno if Josh mistook it down.
429
00:21:23,410 --> 00:21:24,410
No, phone companies.
430
00:21:24,490 --> 00:21:27,080
Phone company sort of going,
431
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,870
maybe playing tricky
business, maybe doing--
432
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:31,000
Tricky business.
433
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:32,890
Maybe tricky business
was going on, some sort of--
434
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:33,790
Tricky business.
435
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:35,440
Some sort of tricky
business was going on
436
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:37,010
with the phone companies.
437
00:21:37,170 --> 00:21:38,510
- Number didn't work.
- Yeah.
438
00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:41,930
Obviously, phone companies
playing tricky business.
439
00:21:42,390 --> 00:21:44,550
Still, huge achievement.
440
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:48,060
And now Josh is gonna come
and he's gonna tell everyone here
441
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:51,600
what you know about talking to chicks.
442
00:21:51,690 --> 00:21:54,610
All right, gents, boys,
thanks for having me.
443
00:21:54,690 --> 00:21:55,610
[MALIEN] Josh.
444
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,440
Show of hands,
who wants to meet a chick?
445
00:21:57,530 --> 00:21:58,530
Me.
446
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:02,450
Hands up if you don't know the process
of how to go about that,
447
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:05,240
who wants to walk outta here
today with chicks in hand?
448
00:22:05,330 --> 00:22:06,160
- Ooh.
- [MALIEN] Yeah.
449
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:07,490
- Yeah.
- [MALIEN] Fuck yeah.
450
00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:10,370
Now, take note boys, all right?
451
00:22:10,750 --> 00:22:13,170
Act like you are listening
and then interject
452
00:22:13,250 --> 00:22:17,000
over the top of it,
that gets the chicks ticking.
453
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:19,960
Don't let 'em get a word
in edgeways, with me.
454
00:22:20,210 --> 00:22:22,760
[MALIENS TOGETHER] Don't let 'em
get a word in edgeways.
455
00:22:22,930 --> 00:22:25,890
Let them know how much
Reddit karma you have, as well.
456
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,100
I have a lot of
opinions on Marvel movies.
457
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,020
Would, would they be interested in them?
458
00:22:30,100 --> 00:22:31,850
They'll love that.
459
00:22:32,390 --> 00:22:34,900
Okay, firstly, if you
want a chick to like you,
460
00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:36,980
you need to connect with them.
461
00:22:37,150 --> 00:22:40,360
Ask questions and listen,
462
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:42,420
no matter how boring the answers are.
463
00:22:42,450 --> 00:22:46,450
And secondly, let me go now
and no one will get hurt.
464
00:22:46,780 --> 00:22:49,740
But if you don't, when I get myself loose,
465
00:22:49,830 --> 00:22:56,460
I will kill every single one of you.
466
00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:01,050
What did she say?
467
00:23:02,170 --> 00:23:03,220
[WHINES]
468
00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:06,590
Please take me back, this was a mistake.
469
00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:09,350
What, aren't you excited
to get your nails done?
470
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:10,970
I don't wanna get my nails done.
471
00:23:11,060 --> 00:23:12,330
I have to keep them short, anyway.
472
00:23:12,350 --> 00:23:15,650
Oh God, well, where can
I drop you then, Pilates?
473
00:23:16,310 --> 00:23:18,060
Supermarket?
474
00:23:18,310 --> 00:23:20,860
Why did you even board me
if you don't want to go anywhere?
475
00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:22,860
Well, I thought...
476
00:23:23,240 --> 00:23:25,820
Come on. You can't stay with me
and I'm not taking you back.
477
00:23:25,910 --> 00:23:28,570
So pick somewhere, chop chop.
478
00:23:28,660 --> 00:23:31,040
- S Club.
- I can't hear you.
479
00:23:32,830 --> 00:23:35,120
Do you know where S Club 17 is?
480
00:23:35,210 --> 00:23:38,750
The party hub, now you're talkin'.
481
00:23:40,380 --> 00:23:43,260
[SHIP]I can't remember
how to get there, though.
482
00:23:44,970 --> 00:23:45,970
Hmm.
483
00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:49,390
I have a good feeling about this way.
484
00:23:50,430 --> 00:23:51,430
[SAIRA WHIMPERS]
485
00:23:51,810 --> 00:23:54,060
Such a strong feeling about this way.
486
00:23:56,140 --> 00:23:57,190
Don't even think about it.
487
00:23:58,020 --> 00:24:01,690
Now, what takes you to S Club 17, hmm?
488
00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:04,320
I need to find a way to
summon my royal labrys.
489
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:08,280
Whoa, yeah, say no more,
I know that part of the vagina.
490
00:24:08,360 --> 00:24:12,790
And then I need to go to the worst,
most dangerous place in the universe.
491
00:24:12,870 --> 00:24:13,950
[SHIP SHRIEKING]
492
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,540
What, are you mental?
493
00:24:15,620 --> 00:24:17,870
I don't think people say that anymore.
494
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:21,750
I'll take you to S Club 17,
but no further.
495
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,960
But my girlfriend is there.
496
00:24:23,090 --> 00:24:25,720
What the fuck is your
friend doing there?
497
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,430
She's in trouble and
she's my girlfriend.
498
00:24:28,510 --> 00:24:30,260
Yeah, like a girl who's a friend.
499
00:24:30,340 --> 00:24:34,220
Like, my partner,
I'm literally from Clitopolis.
500
00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:35,980
Oh, yeah.
501
00:24:36,730 --> 00:24:39,270
She used to be my girlfriend, at least.
502
00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:42,190
Wait, so she's your ex?
503
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:46,780
Well, technically yes,
but maybe if I can save her--
504
00:24:46,900 --> 00:24:49,280
Oh God, this, this is pathetic.
505
00:24:51,910 --> 00:24:54,580
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
506
00:24:55,910 --> 00:24:58,330
♪ Here I go ♪
507
00:24:59,210 --> 00:25:03,210
♪ Leaving everything I know ♪
508
00:25:03,290 --> 00:25:07,720
♪ Because I would go to
The edge of space for you ♪
509
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:12,800
♪ Just to hear you say you love me too ♪
510
00:25:13,350 --> 00:25:15,060
♪ I'm so scared of being alone ♪
511
00:25:15,140 --> 00:25:17,230
♪ Don't wanna end up on my own ♪
512
00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:19,270
♪ Live my whole life on a throne ♪
513
00:25:19,350 --> 00:25:22,230
♪ Now head into the great unknown ♪
514
00:25:22,310 --> 00:25:24,940
Fuck, what am I doing?
515
00:25:25,020 --> 00:25:28,990
- [KIKI GRUNTS, CHUCKLES]
- ♪ Oh, no ♪
516
00:25:29,070 --> 00:25:32,370
♪ Okay, here I go ♪
517
00:25:32,450 --> 00:25:35,580
♪ Here I go ♪
518
00:25:35,660 --> 00:25:40,580
♪ Leaving everything I know, 'cause I ♪
519
00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:41,500
[EXPLOSION]
520
00:25:41,580 --> 00:25:42,580
[SHIP] Oh, hello!
521
00:25:42,630 --> 00:25:45,340
No one actually goes the
speed limit, poofter.
522
00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:47,020
You definitely can't say that anymore.
523
00:25:47,050 --> 00:25:48,880
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
524
00:25:52,390 --> 00:25:53,430
[SHIP THUDS]
525
00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:56,180
- Oh, what is your problem mate?
- [THUD]
526
00:25:56,310 --> 00:25:58,640
Oh, this guy's a bit rude.
527
00:25:58,720 --> 00:25:59,600
What do you think you're doing?
528
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:00,690
Sorry!
529
00:26:00,770 --> 00:26:02,900
[SHIP] Mutiny, mutiny!
530
00:26:02,980 --> 00:26:06,360
I was distracted, for not even one second,
531
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,690
and you have gone and couped me.
532
00:26:08,780 --> 00:26:10,990
I am a man,
and I have rights.
533
00:26:11,070 --> 00:26:16,080
My old pilots were right,
and you just cannot trust women.
534
00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:19,790
[SHIP AND SAIRA SCREAMING]
535
00:26:23,830 --> 00:26:27,840
I'm hurt, I'm hurt,
now what are we gonna do?
536
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,920
We're gonna die out here,
I told you not to drive.
537
00:26:31,010 --> 00:26:32,380
- Sorry.
- [SHIP] You are covering
538
00:26:32,470 --> 00:26:35,090
my insurance premiums,
okay, from now on.
539
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,850
[SAIRA] Maybe there's
moon crystals on this moon?
540
00:26:40,730 --> 00:26:44,060
[SHIP] Even if there was,
we don't have anyone capable,
541
00:26:44,150 --> 00:26:47,020
brave, or strong enough to find them.
542
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:50,150
Yeah, sorry.
543
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:56,820
Sweet, sweet freedom, only to get stuck
somewhere else, shitty.
544
00:26:56,910 --> 00:26:58,530
[SHIP SOBBING]
545
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,500
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
546
00:27:04,250 --> 00:27:07,210
- What if I went?
- [SHIP] You?
547
00:27:07,340 --> 00:27:09,210
Ugh, yeah right.
548
00:27:09,300 --> 00:27:11,630
Well, just sitting
here isn't going to help.
549
00:27:11,710 --> 00:27:12,720
How bad could it--
550
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,380
[EERIE MUSIC PLAYING]
551
00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:21,310
Be? [GULPS]
552
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:28,560
Oh, thank God.
553
00:27:31,070 --> 00:27:33,610
- It's gone.
- [SAIRA] Oh.
554
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:36,320
If you'd have been here two years ago.
555
00:27:38,910 --> 00:27:44,000
It's just me, I may go over this way.
556
00:27:44,910 --> 00:27:46,330
There's nothing here.
557
00:27:49,290 --> 00:27:51,670
[SAIRA SCREAMS]
558
00:27:51,750 --> 00:27:53,510
Oh, you found a hole.
559
00:27:56,550 --> 00:27:58,930
Ugh, make a friend, lost a friend.
560
00:27:59,430 --> 00:28:01,680
[SAIRA CRIES]
561
00:28:04,770 --> 00:28:05,770
Huh?
562
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:10,610
♪ One single moon crystal ♪
563
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:13,360
♪ Look at it shine ♪
564
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:18,910
♪ I want that moon crystal ♪
565
00:28:19,450 --> 00:28:21,910
♪ To be mine ♪
566
00:28:21,990 --> 00:28:26,080
♪ Oh, moon crystal ♪
567
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:30,210
♪ Moon crystal ♪
568
00:28:30,290 --> 00:28:33,460
♪ Oh, moon ♪
569
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:36,420
♪ Crystal ♪
570
00:28:36,670 --> 00:28:38,090
Yes.
571
00:28:38,630 --> 00:28:40,470
So shiny, right?
572
00:28:40,550 --> 00:28:42,350
[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
573
00:28:42,680 --> 00:28:44,350
[SAIRA SCREAMS]
574
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:50,650
Please don't hurt me.
575
00:28:53,860 --> 00:28:54,690
[MUSIC STOPS]
576
00:28:54,780 --> 00:28:56,690
Whoa, do I look like
I'm going to hurt you?
577
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:01,990
Oh, the goth thing?
578
00:29:02,490 --> 00:29:05,040
Oh, it's just a look,
I'm not going to hurt you.
579
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,750
I thought you could hear me singing
that moon crystal song.
580
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:09,040
What?
581
00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:12,380
Listen, I crashed my ship
and I need this moon crystal.
582
00:29:12,460 --> 00:29:16,170
My girlfriend's, well,
technically ex-girlfriend's
583
00:29:16,380 --> 00:29:17,760
life depends on it.
584
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:19,840
My goodness, you've
got a lot on your plate.
585
00:29:19,930 --> 00:29:21,890
Look, I'm just sorry for scaring you.
586
00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:24,010
Oh, sorry.
587
00:29:24,430 --> 00:29:25,510
Why are you sorry?
588
00:29:25,970 --> 00:29:26,970
I don't know.
589
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:29,980
[FOOTSTEPS PATTER]
590
00:29:30,060 --> 00:29:31,100
Enough apologies.
591
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,270
[MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
592
00:29:40,530 --> 00:29:42,030
I'm so glad you are here.
593
00:29:42,110 --> 00:29:44,070
I came to this moon
to write my solo album,
594
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,660
but I fell down a hole.
595
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:47,450
I fell down a hole, too.
596
00:29:47,870 --> 00:29:49,710
[GASPS] We have so much in common.
597
00:29:51,330 --> 00:29:52,330
I'm Willow.
598
00:29:53,290 --> 00:29:56,840
I'm Princess Saira of Clitopolis.
599
00:29:58,260 --> 00:29:59,670
Whoa, a princess.
600
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:03,010
Also, I hear that place
is famously hard to find.
601
00:30:03,340 --> 00:30:06,310
It's actually not, if
you know what you're doing.
602
00:30:06,810 --> 00:30:10,060
Well, maybe you could
show me the way sometime?
603
00:30:12,810 --> 00:30:15,690
I mean, if we can ever figure
out how to get out of here,
604
00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,360
let me tell you,
I've been down here a while
605
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,570
and there's no obvious way out.
606
00:30:22,780 --> 00:30:27,700
I'm not sure if this will help,
but what if we use that?
607
00:30:27,790 --> 00:30:29,870
[SINGERS VOCALISING]
608
00:30:31,540 --> 00:30:33,460
I did not see that.
609
00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:37,500
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
610
00:30:38,090 --> 00:30:39,550
Gross, what is this?
611
00:30:40,050 --> 00:30:42,010
I feel like I should know what that is.
612
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:45,220
Weird, it wasn't here before
you broke the crystal.
613
00:30:45,850 --> 00:30:48,140
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
614
00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,430
Great, so this is my fault.
615
00:30:53,060 --> 00:30:54,850
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
616
00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:57,520
It's okay, look, these things happen.
617
00:30:57,610 --> 00:30:58,610
Here, let me help you.
618
00:30:59,110 --> 00:31:01,820
Why is everything always so hard?
619
00:31:02,070 --> 00:31:03,070
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
620
00:31:03,150 --> 00:31:05,450
You are so emo.
621
00:31:06,370 --> 00:31:07,370
I love it!
622
00:31:07,870 --> 00:31:10,200
Why did I think a reject
like me could do anything?
623
00:31:11,040 --> 00:31:12,080
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
624
00:31:12,410 --> 00:31:14,040
Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay.
625
00:31:14,460 --> 00:31:16,170
Why is it not targeting you?
626
00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:17,590
I don't know.
627
00:31:17,670 --> 00:31:19,880
Wow, I'm really grateful for that.
628
00:31:20,050 --> 00:31:23,380
You're like, annoyingly positive.
629
00:31:23,470 --> 00:31:24,340
[WILLOW LAUGHS]
630
00:31:24,430 --> 00:31:25,510
Thanks for saying that.
631
00:31:25,970 --> 00:31:30,510
Wait, maybe it's responding
to me being negative about myself.
632
00:31:32,060 --> 00:31:35,480
♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪
633
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:39,190
♪ Gloom goo, do-do-do-do ♪
634
00:31:39,610 --> 00:31:42,860
♪ If you give it bad vibes ♪
635
00:31:43,150 --> 00:31:47,410
♪ It will eat you alive ♪
636
00:31:49,740 --> 00:31:52,660
Sorry, I remember now,
we sang a song about this.
637
00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:55,870
It's this incredibly dangerous sentient
goo that feeds on bad vibes.
638
00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,000
[SQUEAKS]
639
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:02,420
So I should just say something
positive about myself, right?
640
00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:03,670
Great idea.
641
00:32:05,340 --> 00:32:07,550
- Ah...
- Come on, quick.
642
00:32:08,050 --> 00:32:09,050
I...
643
00:32:10,180 --> 00:32:11,260
um...
644
00:32:12,770 --> 00:32:14,100
I don't know.
645
00:32:16,100 --> 00:32:17,520
You don't know?
646
00:32:18,730 --> 00:32:19,730
Saira?
647
00:32:20,520 --> 00:32:21,570
Saira!
648
00:32:22,730 --> 00:32:24,530
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
649
00:32:24,610 --> 00:32:26,280
Really good at holding a conversation,
650
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:28,450
and I can write a song
about basically anything.
651
00:32:28,530 --> 00:32:31,660
I did a great job coordinating
my spikes and chains today,
652
00:32:31,740 --> 00:32:34,660
I have the voice of an angel,
my eyebrows are great,
653
00:32:34,750 --> 00:32:35,660
and also my guitar,
654
00:32:35,750 --> 00:32:38,040
my public speaking has never been better.
655
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,460
I'm ambitious, and I'm brave.
656
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:43,300
And if I was a Pokemon,
I'd be a freaking Pikachu, I'm that cute.
657
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,760
[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
658
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:49,510
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
659
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:57,600
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
660
00:32:57,980 --> 00:32:59,270
[SAIRA] No, the crystal.
661
00:33:00,350 --> 00:33:02,150
[WILLOW] Just forget it, keep going.
662
00:33:02,230 --> 00:33:05,990
Stupid, stupid, stupid,
I needed that crystal.
663
00:33:06,070 --> 00:33:07,070
I knew I couldn't do it.
664
00:33:07,150 --> 00:33:09,110
[WILLOW] Stop, you're encouraging it.
665
00:33:11,990 --> 00:33:13,700
It's gonna blow!
666
00:33:13,780 --> 00:33:14,830
[SHIP] What did you do?
667
00:33:14,950 --> 00:33:16,080
I'm sorry.
668
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,790
[SHIP] Please tell me
you've got the moon crystal.
669
00:33:18,870 --> 00:33:19,750
Yes.
670
00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:21,080
[SHIP] Oh, that's a relief.
671
00:33:21,170 --> 00:33:23,210
But then I lost it.
672
00:33:24,130 --> 00:33:27,720
[SHIP] I knew you
couldn't do it, you idiot!
673
00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:30,340
Now we're completely fucked!
674
00:33:31,340 --> 00:33:34,600
Oh man, it's a shame
we can't use that one.
675
00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:38,730
[GOO BLASTING]
676
00:33:39,060 --> 00:33:40,310
[WILLOW] Where to next?
677
00:33:40,390 --> 00:33:41,400
I'm driving.
678
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:43,560
[SHIP] Where the fuck did she come from?
679
00:33:43,650 --> 00:33:44,520
[WILLOW SINGS] ♪ They ♪
680
00:33:44,610 --> 00:33:46,110
[SHIP] There's more than one?
681
00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:53,660
- [WOMAN SINGING]
♪ Approximately 18 hours left before ♪
682
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,240
♪ Kiki dies ♪
683
00:33:56,490 --> 00:33:59,500
Okay, so just remember when
your permanent is tapped,
684
00:33:59,580 --> 00:34:02,880
you can't tap that card again
until it's been untapped.
685
00:34:02,960 --> 00:34:05,250
And only when your turn begins.
686
00:34:05,710 --> 00:34:10,130
When your turn begins,
then you can untap your tap cards
687
00:34:10,220 --> 00:34:11,470
so they can be used again.
688
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:12,630
Do you understand?
689
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:13,640
[KIKI SHIVERS]
690
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:16,400
Oh, and there are different phases
each with their own set of rules.
691
00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:18,220
So the beginning phase rules--
692
00:34:18,310 --> 00:34:21,190
Please, stop, if you don't stop,
693
00:34:21,270 --> 00:34:23,730
I'm going to make you stop, I mean it.
694
00:34:23,850 --> 00:34:27,860
I really am going to get
myself loose any minute now.
695
00:34:28,230 --> 00:34:31,070
Why can't you chicks
ever like what we like?
696
00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:33,570
Now about the beginning phase.
697
00:34:33,660 --> 00:34:35,950
Ooh, yes, the beginning phase.
698
00:34:36,030 --> 00:34:37,740
[KIKI SOBBING]
699
00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,250
[WILLOW] Wait, so you need this
labrys thing to save Kiki,
700
00:34:41,330 --> 00:34:43,420
and your only hope
is that this Blade person
701
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,560
that you found on the future net,
702
00:34:44,580 --> 00:34:46,500
and know nothing about,
will be able to help?
703
00:34:48,590 --> 00:34:49,510
Yeah, I know, it's--
704
00:34:49,590 --> 00:34:52,930
Such a good plan.
705
00:34:53,260 --> 00:34:54,380
[SHIP] Is it, though?
706
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:59,560
Hey, be careful, go straight, go straight.
707
00:34:59,970 --> 00:35:01,140
Typical.
708
00:35:01,230 --> 00:35:03,770
I'll have you know, I'm actually bisexual.
709
00:35:03,850 --> 00:35:05,940
[SHIP] Are bisexuals really a thing?
710
00:35:06,310 --> 00:35:09,940
Where did you find this
thing, the 21st century?
711
00:35:10,070 --> 00:35:11,650
Yeah, that is where I'm from.
712
00:35:12,900 --> 00:35:14,360
[BOTH] Oh.
713
00:35:14,910 --> 00:35:17,200
Hey, thanks for saving me back there.
714
00:35:17,570 --> 00:35:20,540
Oh, no, thank you, that was a thrill.
715
00:35:21,080 --> 00:35:23,540
Besides, I might not have
found that ladder without you.
716
00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:25,750
I'm not super observant.
717
00:35:26,540 --> 00:35:28,670
Or book smart or street smart.
718
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,300
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- Why?
719
00:35:31,380 --> 00:35:34,590
It's not a bad thing,
I'm just smart in other ways.
720
00:35:35,050 --> 00:35:36,430
Like I'm super creative.
721
00:35:36,930 --> 00:35:38,640
That's right, you're a songwriter?
722
00:35:38,760 --> 00:35:41,310
Trying to be, you see...
723
00:35:41,390 --> 00:35:43,680
[SHIP] Oh, oh, oh,
you better not sing it.
724
00:35:43,770 --> 00:35:45,310
[GUITAR STRUMS]
725
00:35:45,390 --> 00:35:46,900
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
726
00:35:46,980 --> 00:35:51,980
♪ I was in a gay pop band ♪
727
00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:56,320
♪ We were in high demand ♪
728
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:03,120
♪ We'd dance and sing and dance ♪
729
00:36:03,870 --> 00:36:07,290
♪ Our life great, at a glance ♪
730
00:36:08,380 --> 00:36:12,340
♪ But really,
We were prisoners of gay pop ♪
731
00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:16,840
♪ Forced to dance and sing nonstop ♪
732
00:36:16,930 --> 00:36:21,140
♪ But somehow to me,
It all felt wrong ♪
733
00:36:21,220 --> 00:36:24,930
♪ I dreamed to write not shared songs ♪
734
00:36:25,020 --> 00:36:30,020
♪ So I decided I would break free ♪
735
00:36:32,770 --> 00:36:37,780
♪ Become the songwriter
I always wanted to be ♪
736
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:41,120
♪ Hmm ♪
737
00:36:49,630 --> 00:36:50,880
- Wow.
- [SHIP] Fuck my life.
738
00:36:51,340 --> 00:36:53,710
They never used to let
me play my own songs.
739
00:36:54,300 --> 00:36:55,460
They said they were too...
740
00:36:56,630 --> 00:36:57,720
indie.
741
00:36:58,550 --> 00:37:01,050
Now, I finally get to
figure out my own music
742
00:37:01,140 --> 00:37:02,430
separate from the group.
743
00:37:02,510 --> 00:37:04,890
I thought I'd be able to
write songs on the moon,
744
00:37:05,350 --> 00:37:08,640
but let me tell you,
there was not a lot to write about.
745
00:37:09,100 --> 00:37:12,310
But I'm hoping hanging with
you will inspire some songs.
746
00:37:12,650 --> 00:37:16,860
I mean, an inter galactic
space quest to save your ex?
747
00:37:17,820 --> 00:37:18,820
Oh, wow.
748
00:37:19,110 --> 00:37:21,700
Oh, I'm actually really boring.
749
00:37:22,660 --> 00:37:23,870
I don't think you are.
750
00:37:24,790 --> 00:37:27,830
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
751
00:37:27,910 --> 00:37:30,670
[SHIP] No, I think
she is, she really is.
752
00:37:31,170 --> 00:37:35,380
Look, I love the emo vibe,
but you must have something
753
00:37:35,460 --> 00:37:38,090
positive to say about yourself, right?
754
00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,890
What's something you're good at?
755
00:37:43,930 --> 00:37:48,600
Well, I'm not bad at magic.
756
00:37:49,020 --> 00:37:51,310
That's so cool, I'd love to see a trick.
757
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:53,230
No, you wouldn't.
758
00:37:53,610 --> 00:37:55,570
- Ah, yeah, I would
- Pick a card.
759
00:37:55,820 --> 00:37:56,820
Duh.
760
00:37:58,570 --> 00:38:00,450
- Ooh.
- [SAIRA] Okay.
761
00:38:00,740 --> 00:38:02,740
So we're going to use your
card, the ace of hearts,
762
00:38:02,820 --> 00:38:04,130
and put it in the middle of the deck.
763
00:38:04,160 --> 00:38:05,080
- Yeah.
- [SAIRA] Because it's one
764
00:38:05,160 --> 00:38:07,790
of the only cards that
acts like a helium balloon.
765
00:38:07,870 --> 00:38:09,200
If I push it the whole way in.
766
00:38:09,290 --> 00:38:10,520
- [WILLOW] Uh-huh.
- [SAIRA] Like this,
767
00:38:10,540 --> 00:38:11,960
and snap my fingers. [SNAPS]
768
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,540
Did you see it come back to the top?
769
00:38:13,630 --> 00:38:15,090
What the freak?
770
00:38:15,170 --> 00:38:16,880
We'll do it again, we'll take it.
771
00:38:17,920 --> 00:38:19,880
We'll put it in the middle like that,
772
00:38:20,340 --> 00:38:21,720
now if I don't snap my fingers,
773
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:23,300
the card doesn't come to the top.
774
00:38:23,550 --> 00:38:24,550
[WILLOW SPLUTTERING]
775
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,260
But if I either snap
or cover it just for a second
776
00:38:27,350 --> 00:38:28,790
did you see it come back to the top?
777
00:38:28,930 --> 00:38:30,180
Oh my God!
778
00:38:31,480 --> 00:38:34,270
We'll try this one more time,
I'll take it just like this.
779
00:38:34,350 --> 00:38:36,400
In fact, I might use your hand for this.
780
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:37,860
[WILLOW PANTING]
781
00:38:38,190 --> 00:38:40,740
You can press it, the whole
way in, into the middle.
782
00:38:40,820 --> 00:38:41,820
[WILLOW YELPS]
783
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:43,200
Here we go.
784
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:44,820
Oh.
785
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,080
Huh?
786
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:50,790
What did, how, wait, oh my God!
787
00:38:50,870 --> 00:38:53,620
That's so cool, you're really good.
788
00:38:53,750 --> 00:38:55,670
[NERVOUSLY GIGGLING]
789
00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,550
No one's ever stayed
for a whole trick before.
790
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:01,090
Well, they're missing out.
791
00:39:02,550 --> 00:39:05,220
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
792
00:39:11,850 --> 00:39:13,120
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- What do you guys think about
793
00:39:13,140 --> 00:39:15,980
the sex scene in
"Blue is the Warmest Colour?"
794
00:39:16,810 --> 00:39:19,320
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
795
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:29,240
♪ I fell down a hole ♪
796
00:39:32,450 --> 00:39:34,460
♪ And so did you ♪
797
00:39:36,630 --> 00:39:38,880
♪ What a silly thing ♪
798
00:39:41,130 --> 00:39:43,300
♪ For us to do ♪
799
00:39:44,630 --> 00:39:48,470
♪ But we made it out somehow ♪
800
00:39:48,930 --> 00:39:51,930
♪ Take a look at us right now ♪
801
00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:54,770
♪ Oh, Saira and me ♪
802
00:39:55,390 --> 00:39:59,150
♪ Zooming through the gay-laxy ♪
803
00:39:59,230 --> 00:40:03,240
♪ There's nowhere I'd rather be ♪
804
00:40:04,610 --> 00:40:07,990
[WILLOW VOCALISING]
805
00:40:08,070 --> 00:40:15,000
♪ Oh Saira and me,
Zooming through the gay-laxy ♪
806
00:40:15,410 --> 00:40:20,420
♪ Something, something different lyrics ♪
807
00:40:20,590 --> 00:40:22,630
- [SAIRA LAUGHS]
- I'm figuring that one out.
808
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:26,010
[GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES]
809
00:40:33,430 --> 00:40:35,350
[PEOPLE CHEERING]
810
00:40:37,690 --> 00:40:40,770
- All right here, we are, S Club 17.
- [UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
811
00:40:40,860 --> 00:40:43,780
This is where that lady who can help you
find your labrys will be.
812
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,610
[STAMMERS] You mean,
we have to go in there?
813
00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:50,870
[PARTYGOER SNIFFING]
814
00:40:50,950 --> 00:40:51,950
Yeah.
815
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,740
Not looking like this, we won't.
816
00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,120
It's montage time, baby!
817
00:40:58,580 --> 00:40:59,580
What?
818
00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:02,210
♪ Yeah, I'm in your city,
Getting busy for my people ♪
819
00:41:02,290 --> 00:41:04,400
- ♪ I got numbers ♪
- Oh, I'm good with what I've got on.
820
00:41:04,420 --> 00:41:06,380
Come on, you can't
go in there like that.
821
00:41:06,470 --> 00:41:07,880
But Kiki gave this to me.
822
00:41:08,180 --> 00:41:09,180
Seriously?
823
00:41:09,510 --> 00:41:11,470
What's so great about this Kiki?
824
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,100
Well...
825
00:41:13,510 --> 00:41:15,310
she's just like...
826
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:16,640
really...
827
00:41:17,730 --> 00:41:19,190
fucking hot.
828
00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,100
[WILLOW LAUGHS]
829
00:41:22,270 --> 00:41:23,980
Wait, is that seriously it?
830
00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:29,860
It's just, there's only one
[SPEAKING DEEPLY] Kiki the Destroyer.
831
00:41:30,860 --> 00:41:34,830
No one ever gave me a chance,
but she did.
832
00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:39,250
And being with her was like getting
the keys to this better life.
833
00:41:40,710 --> 00:41:45,840
Without her, I'm like, nothing.
834
00:41:47,550 --> 00:41:51,220
You know, that's kind of how I felt
after I left the group.
835
00:41:51,300 --> 00:41:53,220
But you know what made me feel better?
836
00:41:55,390 --> 00:41:56,390
A makeover!
837
00:41:56,430 --> 00:41:59,520
Come on, it's time to
make you fucking hot, too.
838
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,690
Not that you aren't already,
I mean, that came out wrong.
839
00:42:02,900 --> 00:42:04,520
♪ Feeling buzzy,
Feeling cheeky ♪
840
00:42:04,610 --> 00:42:05,880
♪ I don't need you,
But you need me ♪
841
00:42:05,900 --> 00:42:07,650
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, mm-hmm.
842
00:42:07,780 --> 00:42:11,070
[SINGER VOCALISING]
843
00:42:11,150 --> 00:42:12,410
[WILLOW MIMICS SAD TROMBONE]
844
00:42:12,490 --> 00:42:13,620
[SINGER VOCALISING]
845
00:42:13,740 --> 00:42:14,660
[SAIRA YELPS]
846
00:42:14,740 --> 00:42:15,740
[WILLOW] Sorry!
847
00:42:17,490 --> 00:42:18,620
Ahh, Willow?
848
00:42:19,750 --> 00:42:20,750
Sorry, sorry.
849
00:42:20,830 --> 00:42:21,830
[SINGER VOCALISING]
850
00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,330
♪ Acting like Madonna ♪
851
00:42:23,630 --> 00:42:25,920
Bow-wow! [BARKING]
852
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,460
[SINGER VOCALISING]
853
00:42:28,210 --> 00:42:30,630
♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪
854
00:42:30,720 --> 00:42:33,680
It's... perfect.
855
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,760
[UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING]
856
00:42:41,940 --> 00:42:43,520
What did you do?
857
00:42:43,690 --> 00:42:45,130
- Take off--
- I took off the jumper.
858
00:42:45,860 --> 00:42:47,570
[WILLOW WHIMPERS]
859
00:42:49,190 --> 00:42:51,650
[UPLIFTING MUSIC CONTINUES]
860
00:42:58,660 --> 00:43:00,450
Okay, I'll beam you over now.
861
00:43:00,540 --> 00:43:02,370
Do you remember how to get back?
862
00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:04,080
Um, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
863
00:43:04,170 --> 00:43:05,670
[SHIP] You sound unsure.
864
00:43:05,750 --> 00:43:07,500
Okay, let me explain again.
865
00:43:07,590 --> 00:43:11,340
Thanks so much, but I think we got it,
the first three times you told us.
866
00:43:11,670 --> 00:43:12,840
Oh, you say that now.
867
00:43:13,130 --> 00:43:15,390
But it can be pretty easy to
get confused and mixed up,
868
00:43:15,470 --> 00:43:18,850
specially if you're a lady,
or whatever you are.
869
00:43:18,930 --> 00:43:21,140
And you know, not used to tech stuff.
870
00:43:21,220 --> 00:43:23,140
[WILLOW] Honestly, I reckon we got this.
871
00:43:23,230 --> 00:43:24,230
Just one more time.
872
00:43:24,270 --> 00:43:27,690
What you need to do is get
up the remote beam tracker
873
00:43:27,810 --> 00:43:29,190
and press the beam button.
874
00:43:31,570 --> 00:43:32,900
Oh, fuck my life.
875
00:43:33,190 --> 00:43:35,450
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
876
00:43:47,920 --> 00:43:50,880
♪ Lost my shit ♪
877
00:44:19,870 --> 00:44:21,410
[PERSON SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
878
00:44:21,490 --> 00:44:23,580
[BOUNCER] This is VIP.
879
00:44:25,580 --> 00:44:26,670
Willow?
880
00:44:26,750 --> 00:44:28,580
[OUTLINE BEEPS]
881
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:30,840
♪ PRN, 'cause I've lost my shit ♪
882
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:33,840
♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause
I've lost my shit ♪
883
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,130
♪ Give me a PRN, 'cause
I've lost my shit ♪
884
00:44:37,220 --> 00:44:39,890
♪ Give me a PRN ♪
885
00:44:40,140 --> 00:44:41,300
[MUSIC STOPS]
886
00:44:41,390 --> 00:44:42,600
[SIGHING]
887
00:44:45,810 --> 00:44:47,190
[WATER TRICKLING]
888
00:44:47,270 --> 00:44:49,400
[MONSTER] Willow ditched you.
889
00:44:49,980 --> 00:44:51,820
Your plans are stupid.
890
00:44:52,860 --> 00:44:55,110
Blade doesn't wanna help you.
891
00:44:55,990 --> 00:44:58,150
You will always be broken.
892
00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,200
You should just give up.
893
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,780
[GASPS]
894
00:45:05,040 --> 00:45:06,450
We need to talk
895
00:45:07,870 --> 00:45:13,250
about Ryan.
[CRYING]
896
00:45:14,050 --> 00:45:17,510
I swear he's cheating
on me with Stephanie,
897
00:45:17,630 --> 00:45:21,180
and he is totally gaslighting me.
898
00:45:21,260 --> 00:45:23,560
Like, why would he post
all those selfies with her,
899
00:45:23,720 --> 00:45:26,270
and what, you know, what
is, if that's just the vibe,
900
00:45:26,350 --> 00:45:28,600
but like, don't tell me I'm crazy.
901
00:45:28,850 --> 00:45:31,560
That's how things ended
the last time. [SOBBING]
902
00:45:39,150 --> 00:45:42,570
So like I'm, [HICCUPS]
I'm not crazy, right?
903
00:45:43,950 --> 00:45:45,410
- Right?
- What?
904
00:45:45,580 --> 00:45:47,160
Thanks for agreeing.
905
00:45:47,250 --> 00:45:49,750
So yeah, he just always
puts himself before me,
906
00:45:49,830 --> 00:45:54,540
and makes me feel like a loser.
[SOBBING]
907
00:45:59,920 --> 00:46:01,690
You shouldn't let him
make you feel so terrible.
908
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:03,090
Why do you let him do that?
909
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:09,640
He's just, like, really fucking hot.
910
00:46:10,140 --> 00:46:14,150
I just, I can't believe he likes me.
911
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:16,690
Huh.
912
00:46:16,980 --> 00:46:21,150
Surely there's lots to love?
913
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:26,830
Well, I do listen a
lot when he's talking
914
00:46:26,910 --> 00:46:28,240
to me about his video game.
915
00:46:28,620 --> 00:46:30,710
I don't even, I don't know
what's going on in there,
916
00:46:30,790 --> 00:46:32,540
but he seems really excited.
917
00:46:32,620 --> 00:46:36,000
So he's telling me about AK-47.
918
00:46:36,090 --> 00:46:39,210
I don't know what that is,
but it makes him happy.
919
00:46:39,300 --> 00:46:41,050
And I'm really good at shoplifting.
920
00:46:42,590 --> 00:46:46,430
It sounds like this Ryan
921
00:46:46,510 --> 00:46:49,270
doesn't appreciate how great you are.
922
00:46:50,270 --> 00:46:51,940
Oh my God, you're right.
923
00:46:52,100 --> 00:46:55,480
Thanks, babes, I needed
to hear that. [LAUGHS]
924
00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:57,330
It's wild to think I
won't remember any of this
925
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,610
in the morning and we'll never
see each other ever again.
926
00:46:59,940 --> 00:47:00,940
You know what?
927
00:47:00,990 --> 00:47:03,860
You're right.
Screw him, I'm great.
928
00:47:04,240 --> 00:47:07,620
You're like the wisest, coolest,
prettiest person I've ever met.
929
00:47:09,450 --> 00:47:11,370
You fucking rock, girl.
930
00:47:12,410 --> 00:47:14,020
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
931
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,790
...like kept pissing in my bed.
932
00:47:16,580 --> 00:47:20,960
Hey, Blade, I need to
speak to you, please?
933
00:47:21,050 --> 00:47:21,880
What?
934
00:47:21,970 --> 00:47:26,930
I said, I need to speak to you, please.
935
00:47:27,010 --> 00:47:27,930
What?
936
00:47:28,010 --> 00:47:30,310
- I said
- I'll come down.
937
00:47:30,770 --> 00:47:32,890
[THRONE BEEPING]
938
00:47:32,980 --> 00:47:34,060
Coming down.
939
00:47:36,310 --> 00:47:39,360
Fucking, fucking. [INDISTINCT]
940
00:47:40,190 --> 00:47:42,940
[THRONE BEEPING]
941
00:47:45,820 --> 00:47:47,120
Well, hello.
942
00:47:47,780 --> 00:47:48,780
Hi.
943
00:47:49,780 --> 00:47:50,950
How's it goin'?
944
00:47:51,620 --> 00:47:54,040
I'm Princess Saira from--
945
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,170
I know who you are.
946
00:47:56,460 --> 00:47:58,670
Ah, cool, yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
947
00:47:58,750 --> 00:48:01,250
I saw on the future net
that you might be able
948
00:48:01,340 --> 00:48:04,010
to help me summon my royal labrys?
949
00:48:04,590 --> 00:48:07,340
You think you can
just come into my club,
950
00:48:07,430 --> 00:48:12,220
march into the VIP area, make
me come down from my throne,
951
00:48:12,310 --> 00:48:15,480
and expect me to just help
you summon your labrys?
952
00:48:15,890 --> 00:48:18,770
[DEEP SERIOUS VOICE] If that's what you
think, you would be
953
00:48:18,860 --> 00:48:22,110
[GENTLE VOICE] absolutely right. [LAUGHS]
954
00:48:22,190 --> 00:48:25,150
I am so excited you're here.
955
00:48:25,240 --> 00:48:28,700
Princess Saira, it would be my honour
956
00:48:28,780 --> 00:48:30,530
to help you out, darling.
957
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:32,660
Oh, oh my God, really?
958
00:48:34,040 --> 00:48:34,870
Thank you.
959
00:48:34,950 --> 00:48:36,290
Get up, you little sweaty bitch.
960
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:42,000
You know, we're actually not
so different, Princess Saira.
961
00:48:42,170 --> 00:48:43,170
Really?
962
00:48:43,340 --> 00:48:46,090
I mean, my parents
aren't queens or anything,
963
00:48:46,170 --> 00:48:47,170
[CHUCKLING]
964
00:48:47,430 --> 00:48:51,220
but they are renowned
psychologists, and ooh girl,
965
00:48:51,300 --> 00:48:54,100
when people talked shit about me, [LAUGHS]
966
00:48:54,520 --> 00:48:57,310
I tried for the longest time to fit in,
967
00:48:57,390 --> 00:49:01,480
and be the psychological
professional my parents wished for.
968
00:49:01,810 --> 00:49:06,570
But I realised if there's no
room for you to be yourself,
969
00:49:06,950 --> 00:49:09,660
fuck it, go and make it yourself, girl.
970
00:49:09,950 --> 00:49:12,870
I finally followed my real passion.
971
00:49:12,950 --> 00:49:13,790
- Drag?
972
00:49:13,870 --> 00:49:14,870
- Weapons.
973
00:49:15,700 --> 00:49:18,670
They love the drag, but
the weapons, they said,
974
00:49:18,750 --> 00:49:21,540
"Blade, your behaviour
is very concerning."
975
00:49:21,830 --> 00:49:23,670
But like, don't call your kid Blade
976
00:49:23,750 --> 00:49:27,010
and expect them not to
be into blades, right?
977
00:49:27,090 --> 00:49:28,260
[CHUCKLING]
978
00:49:28,340 --> 00:49:30,890
Speaking of blades, your labrys.
979
00:49:30,970 --> 00:49:32,610
I'll tell you what's causing you trouble.
980
00:49:33,050 --> 00:49:34,640
As with all metaphysical weapons,
981
00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:38,390
the key to unlocking your
labrys is a mental one.
982
00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:39,600
The wiring is all there.
983
00:49:39,690 --> 00:49:41,730
You just need to make
the right connections.
984
00:49:42,060 --> 00:49:44,440
So, I'm not broken?
985
00:49:44,860 --> 00:49:48,280
Not at all,
and luckily, I happen to know
986
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:50,110
a thing or two about psychology.
987
00:49:50,530 --> 00:49:54,330
Now let mama help you find
your labrys, you ready?
988
00:49:54,950 --> 00:49:55,830
Mm-hmm.
989
00:49:55,950 --> 00:49:58,830
Okay, close your eyes.
990
00:49:59,910 --> 00:50:01,750
This is safe, right?
991
00:50:01,830 --> 00:50:03,170
[BLADE LAUGHS]
992
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:06,460
Of course, we're only meditating.
993
00:50:08,420 --> 00:50:11,590
I want you to take a deep breath in.
994
00:50:11,680 --> 00:50:14,010
[SAIRA INHALES]
995
00:50:14,100 --> 00:50:15,600
And out.
996
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:18,350
[SAIRA EXHALES]
997
00:50:22,310 --> 00:50:24,980
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
998
00:50:30,530 --> 00:50:32,820
Now babes, it might feel like
999
00:50:32,910 --> 00:50:35,240
you're not in control of your own mind,
1000
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:38,240
but your subconscious is actually trying
1001
00:50:38,330 --> 00:50:40,200
to protect you in a
roundabout kind of way,
1002
00:50:40,910 --> 00:50:42,540
and a saboteur, all that shit.
1003
00:50:43,370 --> 00:50:45,960
But it's only as powerful
as you let it be.
1004
00:50:47,090 --> 00:50:51,260
Now look around at your
surroundings, what do you notice?
1005
00:50:53,010 --> 00:50:55,510
Reach out and touch the door.
1006
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:59,020
Feel the handle, feel its smoothness.
1007
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,100
[MONSTER] This won't work.
1008
00:51:01,180 --> 00:51:03,390
[BLADE] Remember, you're the boss.
1009
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:04,810
Breathe in.
1010
00:51:04,900 --> 00:51:06,480
[SAIRA INHALES]
1011
00:51:06,560 --> 00:51:07,980
And out.
1012
00:51:08,070 --> 00:51:09,400
[SAIRA EXHALES]
1013
00:51:10,030 --> 00:51:15,530
At your own pace,
hold the handle firmly and pull.
1014
00:51:18,370 --> 00:51:19,660
[OMINOUS LAUGHTER]
1015
00:51:19,790 --> 00:51:22,290
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING]
1016
00:51:32,380 --> 00:51:34,970
[SAIRA EXHALES]
1017
00:51:45,350 --> 00:51:47,440
[SAIRA WHIMPERS]
1018
00:51:49,900 --> 00:51:53,740
Wait, Saira, I wanna hang out with you.
1019
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:59,580
Just kidding, I ditched you because you--
1020
00:51:59,660 --> 00:52:00,700
Bore me.
1021
00:52:00,790 --> 00:52:02,830
Bore me, bore me.
1022
00:52:02,910 --> 00:52:04,120
Bore me.
1023
00:52:04,210 --> 00:52:08,500
You bore me.
1024
00:52:09,130 --> 00:52:11,130
[DEEP BREATHING]
1025
00:52:14,340 --> 00:52:16,180
[GRUNTS]
1026
00:52:22,010 --> 00:52:24,390
[LABRYS DRONING]
1027
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:27,650
[FOOTSTEPS PATTERING]
1028
00:52:29,230 --> 00:52:32,190
[OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES]
1029
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,740
[PERSON] Why do we keep trying?
1030
00:52:34,820 --> 00:52:37,160
[KIKI] Boring.
1031
00:52:37,660 --> 00:52:41,030
[WHIMPERING]
[SAIRA] Huh?
1032
00:52:45,660 --> 00:52:48,330
[SAIRA SUBCONSCIOUS] Can't you just stay
here with me today?
1033
00:52:48,540 --> 00:52:49,630
[LEANNE] We can't,
1034
00:52:49,710 --> 00:52:53,300
we'll be late for our royal orgy, sweetie.
1035
00:52:57,510 --> 00:53:00,090
[SAIRA] Can I show
you my magic show now?
1036
00:53:00,180 --> 00:53:01,820
[ANNE] Not now, Saira,
we're gonna be late
1037
00:53:01,850 --> 00:53:04,680
for our own burlesque show,
much cooler than magic.
1038
00:53:04,770 --> 00:53:06,390
[LEANNE] You should
do burlesque instead.
1039
00:53:07,100 --> 00:53:08,520
[SAIRA] I'm 10.
1040
00:53:10,400 --> 00:53:13,020
Wanna come over after school, maybe?
1041
00:53:13,320 --> 00:53:15,030
[FRIEND] Will the queens be there?
1042
00:53:15,820 --> 00:53:18,360
[SAIRA] No, they're away.
1043
00:53:19,070 --> 00:53:21,240
[FRIEND] Sorry, I can't.
1044
00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:24,950
[SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING]
1045
00:53:30,580 --> 00:53:33,290
[ANNE] What did we do
wrong, it can't be us.
1046
00:53:33,380 --> 00:53:35,420
[LEANNE] Waste of space.
1047
00:53:35,500 --> 00:53:38,930
[SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES]
1048
00:53:55,110 --> 00:53:56,310
[PERSON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1049
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:58,360
[PERSON] Something wrong with her.
1050
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:01,360
[FOOTSTEPS PATTER]
1051
00:54:05,450 --> 00:54:07,370
[PERSON SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1052
00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:10,620
[ANNE] Happened the first try, right?
1053
00:54:10,710 --> 00:54:13,630
[MOMS]You can't have it.
1054
00:54:13,710 --> 00:54:16,380
But... it's... mine.
1055
00:54:16,460 --> 00:54:19,170
[MOMS] You're not good enough for it.
1056
00:54:21,720 --> 00:54:25,220
Yes, I am.
1057
00:54:26,470 --> 00:54:27,970
[SAIRA YELLS]
1058
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:40,440
[GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING]
1059
00:54:40,530 --> 00:54:43,820
[CHAINS RATTLING]
1060
00:54:44,030 --> 00:54:47,030
[SINGER VOCALISING]
1061
00:54:50,290 --> 00:54:52,960
[SAIRA PANTING]
1062
00:55:03,760 --> 00:55:06,430
[MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
1063
00:55:06,510 --> 00:55:09,350
[SINGERS VOCALISING]
1064
00:55:17,150 --> 00:55:20,530
- [MUSIC STOPS]
- Yes, finally, yes, yes, yes.
1065
00:55:20,780 --> 00:55:22,490
- Yoink.
- Yes?
1066
00:55:22,570 --> 00:55:24,490
- I'll take that.
- Huh?
1067
00:55:24,570 --> 00:55:26,620
[BLADE CACKLING]
1068
00:55:26,950 --> 00:55:31,830
Finally, a labrys is
mine, all mine. [CACKLING]
1069
00:55:34,290 --> 00:55:36,750
I can't believe you fell for it,
you basic little bitch.
1070
00:55:36,880 --> 00:55:39,420
Wait, I thought you wanted to help me.
1071
00:55:39,590 --> 00:55:40,590
Nah.
1072
00:55:41,210 --> 00:55:43,010
I can't believe you didn't see that.
1073
00:55:46,340 --> 00:55:47,390
But I need it.
1074
00:55:47,470 --> 00:55:51,850
Not when you're dead. [LAUGHS]
1075
00:55:51,930 --> 00:55:54,810
Time to christen this beautiful blade.
1076
00:55:56,150 --> 00:55:59,020
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
1077
00:55:59,110 --> 00:56:01,530
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1078
00:56:01,690 --> 00:56:03,280
[SAIRA WHIMPERING]
1079
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:05,910
[BLADE CACKLING]
1080
00:56:07,110 --> 00:56:09,950
[WILLOW YELLS]
1081
00:56:10,830 --> 00:56:13,950
Whoopsies, finally found you.
1082
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,750
Sorry I took so long, it took
me ages to find the pineapple.
1083
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:18,040
What's it for?
1084
00:56:18,630 --> 00:56:19,630
What?
1085
00:56:20,670 --> 00:56:23,010
Oh, hey, you found the labrys thing.
1086
00:56:23,090 --> 00:56:25,930
[WILLOW GRUNTS]
1087
00:56:26,010 --> 00:56:27,770
- [BLADE YELLS]
- [UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
1088
00:56:28,970 --> 00:56:30,220
Okay, so Blade is not cool.
1089
00:56:30,300 --> 00:56:32,390
Yeah, she's trying to steal my labrys.
1090
00:56:32,470 --> 00:56:33,970
Oh, hell no.
1091
00:56:34,310 --> 00:56:35,810
[GRUNTING]
1092
00:56:38,600 --> 00:56:39,610
[GRUNTS]
1093
00:56:39,690 --> 00:56:43,150
What are you gonna do,
fight me with a pineapple? [LAUGHS]
1094
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:44,940
Oh, it all makes sense now.
1095
00:56:45,070 --> 00:56:46,200
[SAIRA LAUGHS]
1096
00:56:46,990 --> 00:56:48,990
[GRUNTING]
1097
00:56:50,620 --> 00:56:51,450
[BLADE GRUNTS]
1098
00:56:51,530 --> 00:56:52,620
[BLADE] Ow, what the fuck?
1099
00:56:53,450 --> 00:56:54,500
[WILLOW LAUGHS]
1100
00:56:54,750 --> 00:56:56,460
- [GRUNTS]
- Willow!
1101
00:56:56,540 --> 00:56:58,120
[WILLOW GROANING]
1102
00:56:58,670 --> 00:57:00,840
[BLADE GRUNTING]
1103
00:57:00,920 --> 00:57:02,380
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
1104
00:57:03,460 --> 00:57:05,460
[SAIRA GRUNTS]
1105
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:06,840
[MUSIC STOPS]
1106
00:57:06,920 --> 00:57:09,550
Ha, have you ever used an axe before?
1107
00:57:10,390 --> 00:57:12,050
[METAL CLINKING]
1108
00:57:12,260 --> 00:57:13,850
[SAIRA YELLS]
1109
00:57:13,930 --> 00:57:15,810
Ha, even with that beautiful weapon,
1110
00:57:15,890 --> 00:57:19,440
you can't defend yourself
against a pineapple.
1111
00:57:19,730 --> 00:57:21,480
You're a joke.
1112
00:57:21,690 --> 00:57:24,570
[SAIRA PANTING]
1113
00:57:24,820 --> 00:57:26,360
No, what are you doing to it?
1114
00:57:26,490 --> 00:57:27,570
No.
1115
00:57:28,030 --> 00:57:30,950
Fuck, you bitch. [CRYING]
1116
00:57:33,330 --> 00:57:35,490
[SAIRA YELLS]
1117
00:57:36,830 --> 00:57:40,170
Yeah, that's how you use it. [COUGHS]
1118
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:45,420
Now who's a joke, you biatch? [CRYING]
1119
00:57:53,220 --> 00:57:55,430
[SHIP BEEPS]
1120
00:57:55,510 --> 00:57:56,510
Hey.
1121
00:57:57,730 --> 00:57:58,810
Welcome back.
1122
00:57:58,890 --> 00:58:00,810
[SHIP] Is she okay, is she awake?
1123
00:58:00,940 --> 00:58:03,900
Yes, she's okay,
you can stop freaking out now.
1124
00:58:04,150 --> 00:58:07,190
I wasn't freaking out,
you were, I don't care.
1125
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:11,610
I beamed us back here
after you decapitated that Blade lady.
1126
00:58:11,700 --> 00:58:14,330
You are such a badass. [PURRS]
1127
00:58:15,530 --> 00:58:17,160
- Wait, where's my--
- Hey, hey, hey.
1128
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,960
Shh, shh, it's okay, it's okay.
1129
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:21,040
It's here.
1130
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,000
What?
No, where's my labrys?
1131
00:58:25,340 --> 00:58:27,590
Oh, that, yeah, that's here too.
1132
00:58:29,670 --> 00:58:31,550
[SAIRA PANTS]
1133
00:58:33,140 --> 00:58:35,680
I really was pretty badass back there.
1134
00:58:36,260 --> 00:58:38,930
Yeah, I have a huge crush on you.
1135
00:58:40,020 --> 00:58:42,270
Wait, did I say that out loud?
1136
00:58:42,350 --> 00:58:43,350
[SHIP AND SAIRA] Yes.
1137
00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:44,650
It's just...
1138
00:58:44,730 --> 00:58:46,900
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that got you.
1139
00:58:46,980 --> 00:58:50,490
♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪
1140
00:58:50,950 --> 00:58:55,570
♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪
1141
00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:59,160
♪ And it's on you ♪
1142
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,420
♪ My crush is on you ♪
1143
00:59:03,870 --> 00:59:06,090
♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪
1144
00:59:07,550 --> 00:59:09,920
That song was about you.
1145
00:59:10,010 --> 00:59:11,010
I got that.
1146
00:59:15,340 --> 00:59:17,260
[SHIP] Ooh, yeah.
Called it.
1147
00:59:19,220 --> 00:59:21,480
That's been there this whole time?
1148
00:59:21,890 --> 00:59:25,400
Yep, it's been in
front of you all along.
1149
00:59:25,980 --> 00:59:28,520
We're not talking
about the button, are we?
1150
00:59:28,900 --> 00:59:30,940
No, I'm talking about the
button, I saw it ages ago.
1151
00:59:31,320 --> 00:59:32,320
Oh.
1152
00:59:36,070 --> 00:59:37,780
[SHIP] How can you even have sex?
1153
00:59:38,740 --> 00:59:41,080
Now that he's gone.
1154
00:59:42,290 --> 00:59:45,580
♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush on you ♪
1155
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:51,130
♪ Oh, Saira, I've got a crush, it's true ♪
1156
00:59:52,260 --> 00:59:53,630
♪ And it's on you ♪
1157
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:55,260
Woof woof.
1158
00:59:55,340 --> 00:59:58,430
♪ My crush is on you ♪
1159
00:59:59,260 --> 01:00:01,640
♪ Specifically, you, Saira ♪
1160
01:00:01,850 --> 01:00:04,310
Are yours hands magic?
1161
01:00:05,060 --> 01:00:10,900
♪ Approximately five hours left before ♪
1162
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,820
♪ Kiki dies in a vat of toxic home brew ♪
1163
01:00:16,110 --> 01:00:18,780
[CLEAR THROAT]
Hello there, lady at bar.
1164
01:00:19,330 --> 01:00:20,950
- Hello.
- Hi, um.
1165
01:00:21,910 --> 01:00:26,120
Well, what, do, I like your dress.
1166
01:00:26,210 --> 01:00:27,210
Thank you.
1167
01:00:28,380 --> 01:00:30,790
I wore a nice shirt to this bar.
1168
01:00:31,250 --> 01:00:32,460
It's making me horny.
1169
01:00:32,800 --> 01:00:34,880
[LARRY LAUGHS]
1170
01:00:35,550 --> 01:00:36,800
Perchance...
1171
01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,150
Drink, drink, ask about
a drink, ask about a drink.
1172
01:00:39,180 --> 01:00:40,300
I'm thirsty.
1173
01:00:40,680 --> 01:00:43,430
- Oh, are you thirsty?
- Yeah.
1174
01:00:44,100 --> 01:00:45,900
She gave you the lead in,
just go for it, man.
1175
01:00:45,980 --> 01:00:47,500
Just go for it, just be yourself, bro.
1176
01:00:47,980 --> 01:00:52,730
Can I get you with my
money, a drink for you?
1177
01:00:53,190 --> 01:00:54,690
Oh yes, please.
1178
01:00:54,780 --> 01:00:55,820
Close the deal,
1179
01:00:55,900 --> 01:00:57,820
- close the deal.
- Now that I have purchased
1180
01:00:57,910 --> 01:01:00,070
you a drink, you owe me sex?
1181
01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:01,740
- Yes.
- Yes, correct.
1182
01:01:01,830 --> 01:01:05,160
[KIKI CACKLING]
1183
01:01:05,250 --> 01:01:08,250
Hey, don't be so mean,
this is a safe space.
1184
01:01:08,330 --> 01:01:09,170
What's so funny?
1185
01:01:09,250 --> 01:01:10,580
It's just like,
1186
01:01:10,670 --> 01:01:13,800
I don't get why this is so hard for you.
1187
01:01:14,300 --> 01:01:19,430
Oh, wow, so predictable,
from the lady of colour who's a lesbian.
1188
01:01:19,510 --> 01:01:22,220
I'm really shocked, lesbian of colour.
1189
01:01:22,510 --> 01:01:24,970
The whole universe is built
around you, lesbian of colour.
1190
01:01:25,060 --> 01:01:28,890
Here's something that I
guarantee you did not know.
1191
01:01:28,980 --> 01:01:32,400
Did you know that crash
test dummies are built
1192
01:01:32,480 --> 01:01:36,490
around the average size
and proportions of a woman?
1193
01:01:36,740 --> 01:01:38,360
What if we get into a crash?
1194
01:01:38,450 --> 01:01:40,110
And look at this phone.
1195
01:01:40,360 --> 01:01:41,620
They make these for chicks.
1196
01:01:41,700 --> 01:01:45,080
How am I supposed to use this
tiny phone with my huge hands?
1197
01:01:45,950 --> 01:01:51,170
It's a tiny fucking lesbian phone!
Fuck you lesbian phone!
1198
01:01:51,630 --> 01:01:52,880
We gotta be confident.
1199
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:53,980
- We gotta be too
- But not too--
1200
01:01:54,000 --> 01:01:55,560
- But not too confident.
- Don't be too confident.
1201
01:01:55,590 --> 01:01:56,590
Don't be too confident.
1202
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:57,880
We gotta be beautiful.
1203
01:01:57,970 --> 01:01:59,530
- But not too beautiful.
- But not too beautiful.
1204
01:01:59,550 --> 01:02:00,720
Can't be too beautiful.
1205
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:01,970
Can't look too good.
1206
01:02:02,470 --> 01:02:05,390
You gotta have nice shoe,
you gotta, everything you do,
1207
01:02:05,470 --> 01:02:09,020
everything you do, I gotta
do backwards in flat shoes.
1208
01:02:09,100 --> 01:02:10,230
Do you understand?
1209
01:02:10,310 --> 01:02:13,060
You've got the support of heels.
1210
01:02:13,150 --> 01:02:16,610
I just, it is hard for us, too,
and I just think sometimes.
1211
01:02:16,690 --> 01:02:17,820
- Oh, no.
- Oh.
1212
01:02:17,900 --> 01:02:19,740
So, no, I'm sorry, I'm just...
1213
01:02:19,860 --> 01:02:20,700
- Oh.
- I know.
1214
01:02:20,780 --> 01:02:21,950
No, he does this.
1215
01:02:22,410 --> 01:02:24,280
- We can't win.
- He's just upset.
1216
01:02:24,660 --> 01:02:28,160
I'm not, I'm not upset,
I, these are angry tears.
1217
01:02:28,250 --> 01:02:29,500
I'm so angry I'm crying.
1218
01:02:29,580 --> 01:02:32,710
Ugh, you should just stop complaining.
1219
01:02:33,170 --> 01:02:36,500
Screw this, my life is
hard too, that's it.
1220
01:02:36,590 --> 01:02:39,720
I'm really doing it this time,
I'm getting myself loose.
1221
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:41,010
[KIKI YELLS]
1222
01:02:41,380 --> 01:02:44,090
[PLAYFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1223
01:02:44,340 --> 01:02:45,220
[MALIENS GASP]
1224
01:02:45,300 --> 01:02:46,350
[KIKI GRUNTING]
1225
01:02:46,560 --> 01:02:47,560
[MALIENS GASP]
1226
01:02:47,850 --> 01:02:49,100
Yeah!
1227
01:02:49,390 --> 01:02:50,480
No, no, no, no.
1228
01:02:50,560 --> 01:02:52,190
[KIKI LAUGHS]
1229
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:53,650
[MALIENS GASP]
1230
01:02:54,520 --> 01:02:56,110
[KIKI GRUNTING]
1231
01:02:56,190 --> 01:02:57,570
Oh.
1232
01:02:57,650 --> 01:02:59,860
[KIKI GROANS]
1233
01:03:00,280 --> 01:03:04,110
I think it's time you realise
who has the power here.
1234
01:03:05,320 --> 01:03:07,240
Kill the lesbian!
1235
01:03:08,660 --> 01:03:09,700
[CLEARS THROAT]
1236
01:03:09,790 --> 01:03:14,880
To be or not to be.
That is the question.
1237
01:03:15,130 --> 01:03:17,500
Oh, God, oh, this is the most painful
1238
01:03:17,590 --> 01:03:20,710
and horrible death anyone
could ever experience!
1239
01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:25,800
Oh God, why me, why, why? [GURGLING]
1240
01:03:27,600 --> 01:03:29,370
Bro, I said kill the lesbian,
not the thespian.
1241
01:03:29,390 --> 01:03:30,470
What the heck, bro.
1242
01:03:32,390 --> 01:03:34,390
- You can hear they sound the same.
- [MALIEN] Yes.
1243
01:03:34,520 --> 01:03:35,440
[MALIEN] I understand.
1244
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,150
I mean, I know this isn't my argument,
1245
01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:39,230
but I'm pretty sure you said thespian.
1246
01:03:39,320 --> 01:03:40,650
I don't think I did.
1247
01:03:40,730 --> 01:03:41,990
When I say kill the lesbian,
1248
01:03:42,070 --> 01:03:44,860
I'm talking about,
quite specifically, her.
1249
01:03:44,950 --> 01:03:47,120
And you know that,
you do this, you team up and--
1250
01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:48,720
- You said thespian.
- [MALIEN] You pick on me.
1251
01:03:48,740 --> 01:03:50,200
- Fucking, I swear to God
- Wow.
1252
01:03:50,290 --> 01:03:51,910
I didn't,
and if I did, I apologise.
1253
01:03:52,000 --> 01:03:53,620
Now, who's the lesbian, hey?
1254
01:03:53,710 --> 01:03:55,060
- What, no.
- [LARRY] That doesn't make sense.
1255
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:56,580
No, no, no, no, no, do, what?
1256
01:03:56,670 --> 01:03:59,040
Do you know what a lesbian,
do you know what a lesbian is?
1257
01:03:59,130 --> 01:04:00,300
- Yes.
- [MALIEN] What?
1258
01:04:00,380 --> 01:04:02,340
They're, they get on stage.
1259
01:04:02,420 --> 01:04:03,840
[MALIEN] That's a thespian.
1260
01:04:04,720 --> 01:04:07,680
And, and, and date
someone of the same sex.
1261
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,760
[LARRY AND MALIEN]
That's a lesbian thespian.
1262
01:04:09,850 --> 01:04:10,930
It's a tha-lesbian.
1263
01:04:11,010 --> 01:04:12,310
No, no, it's a lesbian thespian.
1264
01:04:12,390 --> 01:04:14,520
Just kill the lesbian,
just kill the lesbian.
1265
01:04:14,940 --> 01:04:17,980
Every lesbian in "The I Word"
was also a thespian.
1266
01:04:18,060 --> 01:04:19,940
Yes, that's fair, you
cannot argue with that.
1267
01:04:20,020 --> 01:04:21,440
No, and I never would, either way,
1268
01:04:21,530 --> 01:04:23,780
- we're getting off topic.
- [LARRY] Mm.
1269
01:04:23,900 --> 01:04:26,450
And I would like to kill
the lesbian, we gotta--
1270
01:04:26,820 --> 01:04:27,820
We already killed her.
1271
01:04:27,910 --> 01:04:31,580
No, we killed the thespian,
you killed the thespian, the--
1272
01:04:31,660 --> 01:04:33,250
Yes, and that's what you wanted.
1273
01:04:33,330 --> 01:04:34,750
- I thought you said thespian.
- No.
1274
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:39,290
No, shut up, stop talking now.
1275
01:04:40,880 --> 01:04:43,050
All right, now.
1276
01:04:43,710 --> 01:04:47,130
Kill the les... bi... an.
1277
01:04:47,380 --> 01:04:48,430
[KIKI GROANS]
1278
01:04:48,510 --> 01:04:51,890
Wait, wait, wait,
I'm sorry, you're right.
1279
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:56,350
Women like me suck,
we take up too much space.
1280
01:04:56,440 --> 01:04:59,150
Ah, no, no, no, no, no, too late.
1281
01:04:59,270 --> 01:05:02,360
I am sick of you always patronising us.
1282
01:05:02,520 --> 01:05:05,820
But you need me, mm-hmm.
1283
01:05:06,360 --> 01:05:09,240
Saira's not gonna give you
the labrys for nothing.
1284
01:05:10,530 --> 01:05:13,160
Do you really
want to invite a lesbian,
1285
01:05:13,240 --> 01:05:17,210
with one of the most powerful weapons
in the universe to your cave,
1286
01:05:17,290 --> 01:05:21,040
and then tell them you've just
killed the person they love?
1287
01:05:21,130 --> 01:05:22,130
[MALIENS GULP]
1288
01:05:23,170 --> 01:05:27,090
Well, if she loves you so much,
what is taking her so long?
1289
01:05:27,170 --> 01:05:28,840
Just let me talk to her.
1290
01:05:29,970 --> 01:05:32,180
I promise I can get her here.
1291
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:33,810
[GRUNTING]
1292
01:05:33,890 --> 01:05:36,890
Fine, but you better
hope she's close by.
1293
01:05:37,310 --> 01:05:38,440
I am done waiting.
1294
01:05:40,020 --> 01:05:41,020
Button!
1295
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,730
[TIMER BUZZES]
1296
01:05:43,270 --> 01:05:44,570
[GULPS]
1297
01:05:46,230 --> 01:05:48,780
[PHONE RINGING]
1298
01:05:49,200 --> 01:05:51,660
New time limit, princess, one hour.
1299
01:05:51,740 --> 01:05:52,570
What?
1300
01:05:52,660 --> 01:05:54,790
You can thank big
mouth over here for that
1301
01:05:54,870 --> 01:05:57,200
and all the mean things she's been saying.
1302
01:05:57,290 --> 01:05:58,460
About me and my friends.
1303
01:05:58,790 --> 01:06:01,540
Saira, wait, where are you?
1304
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:06,250
Is that... sex hair,
who the fuck is that?
1305
01:06:06,510 --> 01:06:08,510
Hey, I'm Willow,
Saira's new partner.
1306
01:06:08,630 --> 01:06:10,010
What, no, they're no one.
1307
01:06:10,380 --> 01:06:11,380
[WILLOW] Oh.
1308
01:06:11,760 --> 01:06:13,430
Wait, I didn't mean that, I'm sorry.
1309
01:06:13,550 --> 01:06:14,550
[KIKI] Are you serious?
1310
01:06:14,970 --> 01:06:17,020
I mean, I'm sorry, they're no one.
1311
01:06:17,100 --> 01:06:18,100
[WILLOW] Oh.
1312
01:06:18,850 --> 01:06:21,810
I mean... I don't know, I'm confused.
1313
01:06:23,060 --> 01:06:24,060
I'm just,
1314
01:06:25,820 --> 01:06:26,900
sorry.
1315
01:06:27,320 --> 01:06:29,900
No, Saira, I'm sorry.
1316
01:06:31,110 --> 01:06:35,160
I can see now, I screwed things up,
I never appreciated you.
1317
01:06:35,990 --> 01:06:39,120
But Saira, you are the only one
1318
01:06:40,620 --> 01:06:45,210
who can bring your royal
labrys and save me.
1319
01:06:46,460 --> 01:06:52,470
Now, but now I've lost you,
and now I'm going die. [CRIES]
1320
01:06:58,600 --> 01:06:59,600
No.
1321
01:06:59,980 --> 01:07:03,770
That's not true,
I'll come, of course I'll come.
1322
01:07:04,230 --> 01:07:05,980
You have one hour.
1323
01:07:06,060 --> 01:07:07,520
Kiki!
1324
01:07:07,610 --> 01:07:09,110
[KIKI SCREAMS]
1325
01:07:09,190 --> 01:07:11,950
[SAIRA PANTING]
1326
01:07:15,030 --> 01:07:16,320
Willow, I'm sorry.
1327
01:07:16,990 --> 01:07:20,950
It's okay, if Kiki
means this much to you,
1328
01:07:21,330 --> 01:07:23,120
we can open this relationship up.
1329
01:07:24,540 --> 01:07:29,420
No, Willow, I think maybe
you and I should just be friends.
1330
01:07:32,130 --> 01:07:34,800
You're friend zoning me?
1331
01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:39,890
[SERIOUSLY] I hid the body for you!
1332
01:07:40,970 --> 01:07:41,970
Not the head, though.
1333
01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:45,350
I figured they'll never figure out
who it belongs to without the body.
1334
01:07:45,940 --> 01:07:46,810
Um.
1335
01:07:46,900 --> 01:07:50,280
You know, I don't even like murder.
1336
01:07:51,110 --> 01:07:53,030
I just wanted you to like me.
1337
01:07:53,110 --> 01:07:55,780
I do really like you.
1338
01:07:55,860 --> 01:07:59,870
I think you're the first
proper friend I've ever had.
1339
01:08:00,540 --> 01:08:02,000
I got a bit caught up in that.
1340
01:08:02,830 --> 01:08:04,460
Now I've messed it up.
[SOBBING]
1341
01:08:05,960 --> 01:08:09,670
I just need some time.
1342
01:08:09,750 --> 01:08:13,880
And I'm taking this,
you owe me that at least.
1343
01:08:13,970 --> 01:08:14,880
It's yours.
1344
01:08:14,970 --> 01:08:16,380
Don't let them see you cry.
1345
01:08:17,300 --> 01:08:21,010
I definitely have some
inspiration for my album now.
1346
01:08:21,350 --> 01:08:22,350
I'm sorry.
1347
01:08:24,270 --> 01:08:27,730
I really hope... we can be friends.
1348
01:08:30,610 --> 01:08:32,030
Fuck you, Saira.
1349
01:08:32,780 --> 01:08:34,900
[SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING]
1350
01:08:38,450 --> 01:08:41,030
[SAIRA CRYING]
1351
01:08:44,160 --> 01:08:47,500
♪ I met her on a moon ♪
1352
01:08:48,250 --> 01:08:52,670
♪ She was still amid some gloom ♪
1353
01:08:52,750 --> 01:08:56,760
♪ So she took me on a wild ride ♪
1354
01:08:57,430 --> 01:09:01,560
♪ Did some fucked up shit,
But we fell to life ♪
1355
01:09:02,350 --> 01:09:06,310
♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪
1356
01:09:07,020 --> 01:09:10,520
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1357
01:09:11,860 --> 01:09:15,240
♪ Oh, Saira, there she goes ♪
1358
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:19,570
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1359
01:09:20,280 --> 01:09:24,490
♪ She's travelling the gay-laxy ♪
1360
01:09:24,580 --> 01:09:29,170
♪ I kind of wish it was for me ♪
1361
01:09:29,250 --> 01:09:34,250
♪ But something's just
Aren't meant to be ♪
1362
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,880
[SHIP] Finally, how was it?
1363
01:09:36,970 --> 01:09:38,300
Wait, where's the other one?
1364
01:09:38,380 --> 01:09:39,430
What happened?
1365
01:09:39,510 --> 01:09:42,760
Did she, they dump you, too?
1366
01:09:43,260 --> 01:09:45,560
I kind of dumped them.
1367
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:46,930
Why would you do that?
1368
01:09:47,020 --> 01:09:49,350
They seem to genuinely like
your boring personality
1369
01:09:49,440 --> 01:09:50,690
and magic tricks.
1370
01:09:50,770 --> 01:09:54,150
Because... I've gotta save Kiki.
1371
01:09:54,230 --> 01:09:56,230
[SHIP] Oh man, you still wanna do that?
1372
01:09:56,320 --> 01:09:58,360
I, I can't just abandon her.
1373
01:09:58,450 --> 01:10:00,820
Listen, I know you didn't
wanna come this far,
1374
01:10:00,910 --> 01:10:02,570
but she needs me.
1375
01:10:02,660 --> 01:10:06,200
Is it okay if I drive us to the worst,
most dangerous place in the universe?
1376
01:10:10,830 --> 01:10:12,210
[SHIP CRIES]
1377
01:10:12,290 --> 01:10:17,300
No pilots ever asked me if
I'm okay with something before.
1378
01:10:17,920 --> 01:10:24,720
Honestly, they were a bit mean.
[CRYING]
1379
01:10:25,010 --> 01:10:28,600
Well, what do you say,
wanna stick with me?
1380
01:10:29,060 --> 01:10:34,360
I mean, we've come this far.
[CRYING]
1381
01:10:37,610 --> 01:10:41,070
Sorry, you really hit a nerve.
1382
01:10:41,400 --> 01:10:44,280
[CLEARS THROAT]
Yeah, whatever, let's go.
1383
01:10:44,410 --> 01:10:46,580
[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
1384
01:10:46,660 --> 01:10:48,950
♪ Saira, there she goes ♪
1385
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:51,500
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1386
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:54,880
♪ Whoa, Saira, there she goes ♪
1387
01:10:54,960 --> 01:10:57,710
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1388
01:10:58,420 --> 01:11:01,010
♪ Yeah, well I'm so done ♪
1389
01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:03,180
♪ Woo ♪
1390
01:11:03,470 --> 01:11:04,470
[SHIP] Hold on.
1391
01:11:04,800 --> 01:11:09,100
That's the worst, most
dangerous place in the universe?
1392
01:11:09,390 --> 01:11:10,810
[SHIP SOBBING]
1393
01:11:12,350 --> 01:11:13,650
Yeah, apparently this is it.
1394
01:11:13,770 --> 01:11:14,600
[SHIP] Do you know what this is?
1395
01:11:14,690 --> 01:11:17,320
It's like one, one of those
world's best cup of coffee
1396
01:11:17,400 --> 01:11:19,440
bullshit slogan things.
1397
01:11:19,530 --> 01:11:22,360
It's like, "Oh yes,
that shitty little cafe
1398
01:11:22,450 --> 01:11:24,990
has the world's best cup of coffee."
1399
01:11:25,070 --> 01:11:26,240
[NERVOUSLY] Ah, Ship.
1400
01:11:26,320 --> 01:11:27,370
[SHIP] What?
1401
01:11:27,780 --> 01:11:30,450
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1402
01:11:38,040 --> 01:11:39,630
[SHIP] Oh, God.
1403
01:11:40,090 --> 01:11:41,090
Hey.
1404
01:11:45,550 --> 01:11:46,930
I'm so happy.
1405
01:11:47,010 --> 01:11:49,060
[METEOR BLASTS]
1406
01:11:51,020 --> 01:11:53,770
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1407
01:11:55,690 --> 01:11:58,230
- [SHIP] It shot us!
- Right in the face.
1408
01:11:59,070 --> 01:12:01,070
I'm sorry I took you here,
you should take us back.
1409
01:12:01,190 --> 01:12:02,190
Don't you dare.
1410
01:12:02,400 --> 01:12:05,860
You are not the same shy, sad, pathetic,
1411
01:12:05,950 --> 01:12:08,910
boring, miserable princess you
were when you hopped aboard.
1412
01:12:08,990 --> 01:12:12,290
My generous wisdom
and guidance has helped shape you
1413
01:12:12,370 --> 01:12:15,670
into the strong lady warrior
sitting here right now.
1414
01:12:17,880 --> 01:12:20,340
So what are you gonna do, Sangria?
1415
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:25,010
I know what to do.
1416
01:12:25,090 --> 01:12:27,840
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1417
01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:33,270
Okay, mama's driving now. [GRUNTING]
1418
01:12:33,730 --> 01:12:34,980
[INTENSE MUSIC CONTINUES]
1419
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:36,390
[SAIRA YELLS]
1420
01:12:36,900 --> 01:12:37,900
Ow, fuck.
1421
01:12:38,060 --> 01:12:39,060
[ROBOT GROWLS]
1422
01:12:39,150 --> 01:12:41,820
[BEAM BLASTS]
1423
01:12:42,030 --> 01:12:43,740
It's really on me.
1424
01:12:43,820 --> 01:12:46,450
Shit, this isn't working.
[GASPS]
1425
01:12:46,530 --> 01:12:49,070
I think I've got an idea.
1426
01:12:49,620 --> 01:12:50,620
I trust you.
1427
01:12:55,500 --> 01:12:57,210
[SAIRA YELLING]
1428
01:12:57,330 --> 01:13:02,380
[SHIP] Take it back, I take
it back, I don't trust you!
1429
01:13:02,550 --> 01:13:04,880
[LASERS ZAPPING]
1430
01:13:05,220 --> 01:13:07,220
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1431
01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:09,840
[SINGERS VOCALISING]
1432
01:13:19,230 --> 01:13:21,480
[SHIP BLASTS]
1433
01:13:21,560 --> 01:13:23,570
[PENIS GASPS]
1434
01:13:24,730 --> 01:13:25,740
[SHIP BEEPING]
1435
01:13:26,490 --> 01:13:29,570
[SINGERS VOCALISING]
1436
01:13:34,160 --> 01:13:36,960
[EXPLOSION BOOMS]
1437
01:13:37,870 --> 01:13:41,290
[SHIP AND SAIRA YELLING]
1438
01:13:42,670 --> 01:13:45,090
[BIRD SQUAWKING]
1439
01:13:45,710 --> 01:13:47,920
[SHIP COUGHING]
1440
01:13:50,140 --> 01:13:52,430
Oh, that does not sound good.
1441
01:13:52,640 --> 01:13:55,140
What, me?
No, I feel great.
1442
01:13:55,310 --> 01:13:56,310
[WHEEL CLANKS]
1443
01:13:56,560 --> 01:13:59,690
Get outta here, go save
your stupid ex-girlfriend.
1444
01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:01,690
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1445
01:14:02,400 --> 01:14:05,190
Oh, and I guess, be careful, okay?
1446
01:14:05,780 --> 01:14:06,780
Hey.
1447
01:14:07,150 --> 01:14:08,590
Thanks for being an ally back there.
1448
01:14:08,650 --> 01:14:10,780
[SHIP] Ew, what?
I'm not gay.
1449
01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:14,700
[TIMER BEEPS]
1450
01:14:15,620 --> 01:14:16,870
[KIKI GULPS]
1451
01:14:16,950 --> 01:14:19,790
[DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING]
1452
01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:29,990
[MALIEN] Boys, I miss the thespian.
1453
01:14:30,090 --> 01:14:30,930
- Hey.
- [MALIEN] What?
1454
01:14:31,010 --> 01:14:32,400
- [MALIEN] Oh, you shouldn't have--
- I've got the labrys.
1455
01:14:32,430 --> 01:14:33,740
- Shouldn't have killed the thespian.
- I miss that thespian.
1456
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:34,860
[LARRY] Shouldn't have
killed the thespian.
1457
01:14:34,890 --> 01:14:36,200
They were putting on plays and stuff.
1458
01:14:36,220 --> 01:14:37,830
[LARRY] Why'd you tell
him to kill the thespian?
1459
01:14:37,850 --> 01:14:41,140
I said, hey, I've got the labrys.
1460
01:14:41,310 --> 01:14:43,270
- I remember specifically.
- I fucking didn't.
1461
01:14:43,350 --> 01:14:46,480
They did my favourite one
man show of "Book of Mormon."
1462
01:14:46,570 --> 01:14:47,570
[MALIEN] Yeah.
1463
01:14:47,610 --> 01:14:48,440
[MALIEN GASPS]
1464
01:14:48,530 --> 01:14:50,400
Our labrys is here!
1465
01:14:50,490 --> 01:14:53,660
- [MALIENS] Oh.
- Our labrys is here!
1466
01:14:53,740 --> 01:14:54,660
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme,
1467
01:14:54,740 --> 01:14:57,200
gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme. [GRUNTS]
1468
01:14:57,330 --> 01:14:58,330
[SAIRA] Oh.
1469
01:14:58,950 --> 01:15:01,960
[MALIENS CHEERING]
1470
01:15:02,040 --> 01:15:03,290
Now, let Kiki go.
1471
01:15:03,710 --> 01:15:07,420
Oh, gladly, terrible deal for
you if you ask me, take her.
1472
01:15:07,500 --> 01:15:10,420
Get her outta here, look at the labrys.
1473
01:15:10,760 --> 01:15:13,510
[MAGICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
1474
01:15:19,310 --> 01:15:20,310
Hey.
1475
01:15:21,060 --> 01:15:23,560
You saved me.
1476
01:15:26,610 --> 01:15:28,110
I'm free! [LAUGHING]
1477
01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:29,400
I'm finally free.
1478
01:15:31,150 --> 01:15:33,400
Oh God, I thought I was gonna die, whew.
1479
01:15:34,450 --> 01:15:39,160
You know, if we hurry, we could still go
to the Lesbian Ball together.
1480
01:15:41,200 --> 01:15:45,790
Yeah, I don't think so.
1481
01:15:45,880 --> 01:15:47,170
[MALIEN] Ooh, rough.
1482
01:15:47,250 --> 01:15:49,840
But I came all this way for you.
1483
01:15:49,920 --> 01:15:53,260
Yeah, well, you kind
of got me into this mess.
1484
01:15:53,340 --> 01:15:56,470
But you said that
maybe if I was different.
1485
01:15:58,180 --> 01:16:02,270
Listen, I'm so grateful you saved me.
1486
01:16:02,350 --> 01:16:04,480
I'm genuinely impressed you made it here.
1487
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:05,560
Mm-hmm.
1488
01:16:06,310 --> 01:16:11,280
But I don't owe you
anything, nothing's changed.
1489
01:16:12,400 --> 01:16:14,950
But, I have.
1490
01:16:17,990 --> 01:16:20,290
Ugh, again, with the crying.
1491
01:16:22,410 --> 01:16:24,910
Look, I really don't want to be mean,
1492
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,250
but it never really made sense
1493
01:16:26,330 --> 01:16:28,670
that I was with you in the first place.
1494
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:29,840
You know what I mean?
1495
01:16:29,920 --> 01:16:31,000
What's happening to it?
1496
01:16:31,090 --> 01:16:32,420
[MALIENS] Fuck!
1497
01:16:32,710 --> 01:16:35,300
What the hell, princess, we had a deal!
1498
01:16:35,380 --> 01:16:37,220
[SAIRA YELPS]
1499
01:16:37,300 --> 01:16:39,680
I'm upset, fuck!
1500
01:16:39,760 --> 01:16:42,430
- [MALIEN] Fuck!
- [MALIEN] Fuck!
1501
01:16:43,270 --> 01:16:45,850
[SOMBRE MUSIC PLAYING]
1502
01:16:47,150 --> 01:16:49,690
[KIKI SIGHS]
1503
01:16:51,650 --> 01:16:54,400
[SAIRA WHIMPERS]
1504
01:17:01,240 --> 01:17:02,240
Huh?
1505
01:17:05,500 --> 01:17:06,500
Huh.
1506
01:17:14,710 --> 01:17:17,590
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1507
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:21,050
[MONSTER] I knew you
couldn't ignore me for long.
1508
01:17:21,140 --> 01:17:22,600
You haven't changed at all.
1509
01:17:23,510 --> 01:17:25,600
Get it into your thick head.
1510
01:17:25,680 --> 01:17:27,850
You are not good enough for Kiki.
1511
01:17:28,690 --> 01:17:30,940
Without her, you're nothing.
1512
01:17:36,530 --> 01:17:37,860
That's not true.
1513
01:17:37,950 --> 01:17:39,490
[MONSTER] Yes, it is.
1514
01:17:39,570 --> 01:17:42,370
Even your own moms don't like you.
1515
01:17:42,780 --> 01:17:45,370
Just stop it, stop criticising me.
1516
01:17:47,960 --> 01:17:49,330
[MALIENS] What the fuck?
1517
01:17:49,540 --> 01:17:51,130
[MONSTER] You disappoint everyone.
1518
01:17:51,210 --> 01:17:52,920
I'm just telling you how it is.
1519
01:17:53,340 --> 01:17:54,420
Are you?
1520
01:17:55,090 --> 01:17:58,840
Maybe my moms are just bad parents.
1521
01:17:58,930 --> 01:18:02,680
Maybe Kiki is actually
a narcissistic asshole,
1522
01:18:02,760 --> 01:18:05,600
and I deserve better.
1523
01:18:06,470 --> 01:18:08,060
I'm not always the problem.
1524
01:18:08,140 --> 01:18:10,350
[MONSTER] Yes you are.
1525
01:18:10,480 --> 01:18:11,480
I don't think so.
1526
01:18:11,520 --> 01:18:13,330
[MONSTER] You're a boring
little wimp, and you know it.
1527
01:18:13,360 --> 01:18:16,570
- Ah, shut the fuck up.
- [SCREAMING]
1528
01:18:20,860 --> 01:18:21,700
[EXPLOSION BLASTS]
1529
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,990
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
1530
01:18:34,290 --> 01:18:37,960
[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES]
1531
01:18:40,220 --> 01:18:43,720
♪ Ooh ♪
1532
01:18:44,390 --> 01:18:46,100
♪ Lesbian ♪
1533
01:18:46,180 --> 01:18:48,100
♪ Ooh ♪
1534
01:18:49,560 --> 01:18:53,100
Oh, good and great, you got
it back, now hand it over.
1535
01:18:54,650 --> 01:18:55,650
No.
1536
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:57,110
- What?
- [MALIENS] What?
1537
01:18:57,610 --> 01:18:58,610
What?
1538
01:18:58,740 --> 01:19:00,030
But you said we could have it
1539
01:19:00,110 --> 01:19:01,950
if we gave you the mean lady.
1540
01:19:02,030 --> 01:19:04,370
You can't have a lesbian
and a lesbian thing.
1541
01:19:04,450 --> 01:19:05,620
That's too many--
1542
01:19:05,700 --> 01:19:06,530
- What?
- Things,
1543
01:19:06,700 --> 01:19:07,620
'Cause we don't have any--
1544
01:19:07,700 --> 01:19:09,080
- [MALIENS] What?
- What?
1545
01:19:09,160 --> 01:19:11,160
[MALIEN SCREAMS]
1546
01:19:11,250 --> 01:19:14,540
I'm crying.
[SCREAMS]
1547
01:19:14,630 --> 01:19:15,790
No, you're not.
1548
01:19:16,130 --> 01:19:18,380
- Aren't I?
- No.
1549
01:19:20,720 --> 01:19:21,840
[MALIEN] We had a deal!
1550
01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:23,740
[SAIRA] Yeah, well,
sometimes things don't work out
1551
01:19:23,760 --> 01:19:24,760
how you want them to.
1552
01:19:25,140 --> 01:19:29,430
Oh, well we know that all too well.
1553
01:19:29,520 --> 01:19:31,810
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1554
01:19:32,020 --> 01:19:34,900
[JOSH] Give it back, it's ours!
1555
01:19:36,730 --> 01:19:37,570
[JOSH LAUGHS]
1556
01:19:37,650 --> 01:19:39,650
Actually, it's mine.
1557
01:19:39,780 --> 01:19:42,280
Oh, oh.
1558
01:19:42,950 --> 01:19:45,740
[JOSH SCREAMING]
1559
01:19:47,780 --> 01:19:49,290
Why do you even need it?
1560
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:55,210
Well, because if we
don't have your labrys
1561
01:19:55,290 --> 01:19:59,500
to power our chick magnet,
then... we'll never get hot chicks.
1562
01:19:59,590 --> 01:20:01,420
And we'll be losers forever.
1563
01:20:01,840 --> 01:20:04,630
Wait, that's seriously why you want it?
1564
01:20:06,140 --> 01:20:10,520
We don't exactly have...
chicks, knocking down our door.
1565
01:20:10,930 --> 01:20:13,430
- No.
- I leave my door open,
1566
01:20:13,770 --> 01:20:15,600
and they still don't come through.
1567
01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:21,320
Yeah, but all the chick magnets
in the world won't help you.
1568
01:20:22,530 --> 01:20:24,740
I went through all of this.
1569
01:20:25,660 --> 01:20:29,620
And why, 'cause I wanted Kiki to love me?
1570
01:20:31,290 --> 01:20:34,580
But now I see my biggest problem...
1571
01:20:35,460 --> 01:20:37,710
was that I didn't even love myself.
1572
01:20:38,920 --> 01:20:41,920
We deserve to love ourselves
without a chick magnet
1573
01:20:42,800 --> 01:20:44,550
or a hot as fuck girlfriend.
1574
01:20:45,630 --> 01:20:48,590
[ANGELIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1575
01:20:48,680 --> 01:20:52,850
Wow, I mean, no, you're full of shit.
1576
01:20:53,100 --> 01:20:54,390
Get her, boys!
1577
01:20:54,480 --> 01:20:56,690
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1578
01:20:56,770 --> 01:20:59,610
[MALIEN LAUGHING]
1579
01:21:08,030 --> 01:21:11,780
[MAGNET] Incoming chicks,
incoming chicks.
1580
01:21:11,870 --> 01:21:16,040
Incoming chicks,
incoming chicks, incoming chicks.
1581
01:21:17,580 --> 01:21:20,380
[CHICK SCREAMING]
1582
01:21:20,540 --> 01:21:22,550
[BLOOD TRICKLING]
1583
01:21:22,630 --> 01:21:25,460
[LABRYS CLATTERS]
1584
01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:28,340
[LARRY CLEARS THROAT]
1585
01:21:28,760 --> 01:21:31,600
Wait, guys, I, I just
had a random thought.
1586
01:21:32,140 --> 01:21:35,640
All the chick magnets
in the world won't help us.
1587
01:21:36,890 --> 01:21:39,480
We went through all of this, and why?
1588
01:21:40,770 --> 01:21:43,190
Because we wanted chicks to love us.
1589
01:21:44,610 --> 01:21:50,780
But now I see our biggest problem
is that we don't even love ourselves.
1590
01:21:50,870 --> 01:21:52,370
[MALIENS] Oh.
1591
01:21:52,530 --> 01:21:57,040
We deserve to love ourselves
without a chick magnet,
1592
01:21:57,120 --> 01:21:59,120
or a hot as fuck girlfriend.
1593
01:22:01,210 --> 01:22:05,380
Wow, that was beautiful, bro.
1594
01:22:06,800 --> 01:22:08,010
I'm proud of you, man.
1595
01:22:08,800 --> 01:22:10,680
- You're so smart.
- [LARRY] Thank you.
1596
01:22:10,760 --> 01:22:12,930
God, you all deserve one another.
1597
01:22:13,010 --> 01:22:15,100
Shame you can't just date each other.
1598
01:22:21,350 --> 01:22:26,480
I mean,
we would have the best time,
1599
01:22:26,570 --> 01:22:29,530
- like all the time.
- [LAUGHING]
1600
01:22:29,610 --> 01:22:34,580
Yeah, and well, I guess they do say
you should date your best friends.
1601
01:22:34,660 --> 01:22:36,140
- [MALIEN] Yeah.
- Yeah, they do say that.
1602
01:22:36,160 --> 01:22:38,450
And I hear, I hear sexuality
is a bit of a spectrum.
1603
01:22:38,540 --> 01:22:39,460
- [MALIEN] It is.
- [MALIEN] Can be.
1604
01:22:39,540 --> 01:22:40,410
- It is a spectrum.
- You know what I mean?
1605
01:22:40,500 --> 01:22:42,420
- [MALIEN] It is, it's a whole--
- Yeah.
1606
01:22:42,500 --> 01:22:43,600
[MALIEN] It's a whole spectrum.
1607
01:22:43,630 --> 01:22:44,460
- Yeah.
- [JOSH] So, you know.
1608
01:22:44,590 --> 01:22:46,300
Yeah, yeah.
[JOSH] Put it out.
1609
01:22:46,380 --> 01:22:47,670
We would have the best time.
1610
01:22:47,880 --> 01:22:49,420
Oh. [STAMMERS]
1611
01:22:49,550 --> 01:22:50,550
[KISS SMACKING]
1612
01:22:50,590 --> 01:22:52,550
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1613
01:22:52,970 --> 01:22:54,350
Hmm, oh, yeah.
1614
01:22:54,760 --> 01:22:56,810
[KISS SMACKS]
1615
01:22:56,890 --> 01:22:59,270
[KISSES SMACK]
1616
01:22:59,520 --> 01:23:00,690
[KISSES SMACK]
1617
01:23:00,770 --> 01:23:02,850
- [MALIEN] Just, Larry.
- [LARRY] Yeah.
1618
01:23:02,940 --> 01:23:04,820
[MALIEN] Just come over
here for a second, yeah.
1619
01:23:04,900 --> 01:23:06,360
[KISSES SMACK]
1620
01:23:06,440 --> 01:23:07,650
[LARRY] Okay, just a little.
1621
01:23:07,780 --> 01:23:09,070
[JOSH] Oh, yeah, oh yeah.
1622
01:23:09,190 --> 01:23:11,050
- [MALIEN] Can I just have a soft one?
- [JOSH] Oh.
1623
01:23:11,070 --> 01:23:12,150
[KISSES SMACK]
1624
01:23:12,320 --> 01:23:14,120
[MALIEN] Can you do
the rough stuff with me?
1625
01:23:14,200 --> 01:23:15,320
[JOSH] Come here, you.
1626
01:23:17,490 --> 01:23:19,120
[KIKI GRUNTING]
1627
01:23:20,370 --> 01:23:21,870
Let me in.
1628
01:23:21,960 --> 01:23:25,130
[SHIP] I told you we're not
going anywhere without Saira.
1629
01:23:25,210 --> 01:23:27,750
- [KIKI GRUNTING]
- What are you doing?
1630
01:23:28,250 --> 01:23:29,510
Saira?
1631
01:23:29,760 --> 01:23:34,090
Oh, thank God you're okay.
[LAUGHS]
1632
01:23:34,890 --> 01:23:35,970
Mind if I...
1633
01:23:36,220 --> 01:23:37,220
[TONGUE CLICKS]
1634
01:23:37,260 --> 01:23:38,260
bum a lift?
1635
01:23:38,720 --> 01:23:43,350
Yeah, I just don't think
that would really make sense.
1636
01:23:43,940 --> 01:23:45,540
- You know what I mean?
- [KIKI CHUCKLES]
1637
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:48,570
Oh, come on, are you
seriously mad at me?
1638
01:23:48,650 --> 01:23:50,740
- Yeah.
- Fair.
1639
01:23:52,900 --> 01:23:53,740
[SAIRA] You're looking better.
1640
01:23:53,820 --> 01:23:56,820
[SHIP] Yeah, it was mostly just cum.
1641
01:23:57,320 --> 01:23:58,870
[SHIP HUMMING]
1642
01:23:58,950 --> 01:24:02,200
Oh, fuck, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
1643
01:24:02,290 --> 01:24:05,000
[SHIP] We don't wanna
ever see you again.
1644
01:24:05,080 --> 01:24:07,000
[SAIRA] Oh, you can have this back.
1645
01:24:09,630 --> 01:24:11,590
I've never been more attracted to you.
1646
01:24:14,800 --> 01:24:16,140
[SHIP] Where to now, Sasha?
1647
01:24:16,220 --> 01:24:17,260
Back to Clitopolis.
1648
01:24:17,340 --> 01:24:18,970
[SHIP] No.
1649
01:24:19,060 --> 01:24:22,680
Also, just as a heads up, it's Saira.
1650
01:24:23,560 --> 01:24:25,060
[SHIP] Oh my God.
1651
01:24:25,230 --> 01:24:27,060
Have I been saying it
wrong the whole time?
1652
01:24:27,230 --> 01:24:29,570
That is so embarrassing.
1653
01:24:29,650 --> 01:24:31,960
I am so sorry, Saiyeera.
1654
01:24:32,100 --> 01:24:33,100
[SAIRA] Saira.
1655
01:24:33,530 --> 01:24:34,670
[SHIP] That's what I'm saying.
1656
01:24:34,700 --> 01:24:37,370
[SAIRA] No, listen to what I'm saying.
1657
01:24:41,040 --> 01:24:45,210
♪ Are you seriously friend zoning me ♪
1658
01:24:45,290 --> 01:24:49,710
♪ You can't be
Seriously friend zoning me ♪
1659
01:24:50,250 --> 01:24:53,960
♪ Say you don't even wanna be poly ♪
1660
01:24:54,050 --> 01:24:58,140
♪ I can't believe this,
You're friendzoning me ♪
1661
01:24:59,180 --> 01:25:00,600
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
1662
01:25:00,680 --> 01:25:04,520
♪ You were my desire ♪
1663
01:25:04,890 --> 01:25:09,560
♪ My heart was up for hire ♪
1664
01:25:09,650 --> 01:25:13,690
♪ But you burned it down like fire ♪
1665
01:25:14,360 --> 01:25:19,120
♪ Oh, you better watch out for Saira ♪
1666
01:25:19,200 --> 01:25:23,200
♪ Yeah, you better watch out for Saira ♪
1667
01:25:23,700 --> 01:25:28,620
♪ Well, you better watch out for Saira ♪
1668
01:25:32,670 --> 01:25:35,840
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1669
01:25:36,260 --> 01:25:37,170
♪ Oh no ♪
1670
01:25:37,260 --> 01:25:40,090
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1671
01:25:40,430 --> 01:25:41,760
♪ Oh no ♪
1672
01:25:41,850 --> 01:25:42,720
♪ Just because you ♪
1673
01:25:42,810 --> 01:25:43,810
[SINGER VOCALISING]
1674
01:25:43,890 --> 01:25:46,350
♪ Doesn't mean I owe you shit ♪
1675
01:25:46,430 --> 01:25:48,440
♪ Just because you shot your shot ♪
1676
01:25:48,520 --> 01:25:50,770
♪ Doesn't mean that you get it ♪
1677
01:25:50,860 --> 01:25:53,110
♪ This isn't a transaction ♪
1678
01:25:53,190 --> 01:25:55,480
♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪
1679
01:25:55,570 --> 01:26:00,200
♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck,
I don't owe you shit ♪
1680
01:26:00,280 --> 01:26:03,580
♪ Not in the friendzone ♪
1681
01:26:03,660 --> 01:26:04,830
♪ Oh no ♪
1682
01:26:04,910 --> 01:26:09,420
♪ Don't believe it,
Asshole, you're not a nice guy ♪
1683
01:26:09,500 --> 01:26:10,620
♪ You don't get to ♪
1684
01:26:10,710 --> 01:26:14,040
[SINGER VOCALISING]
1685
01:26:14,130 --> 01:26:16,340
♪ Just because you pretend to care ♪
1686
01:26:16,420 --> 01:26:18,760
♪ Doesn't mean I drop my pants ♪
1687
01:26:18,840 --> 01:26:21,090
♪ This isn't a transaction ♪
1688
01:26:21,180 --> 01:26:23,550
♪ Your kind of satisfaction ♪
1689
01:26:23,640 --> 01:26:27,850
♪ Doesn't buy you a fuck,
I don't owe you shit ♪
1690
01:26:27,930 --> 01:26:31,480
♪ Not in the friendzone ♪
1691
01:26:31,560 --> 01:26:32,560
♪ Oh no ♪
1692
01:26:32,650 --> 01:26:37,280
♪ Don't believe it, asshole,
you're not a nice guy ♪
1693
01:26:37,360 --> 01:26:40,700
♪ Not in the friendzone ♪
1694
01:26:40,780 --> 01:26:41,990
♪ Oh no ♪
1695
01:26:42,070 --> 01:26:46,620
♪ Don't believe it, asshole,
you're not a nice guy ♪
1696
01:26:46,700 --> 01:26:50,160
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1697
01:26:50,250 --> 01:26:51,330
♪ Oh no ♪
1698
01:26:51,420 --> 01:26:54,670
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
1699
01:26:54,750 --> 01:26:56,420
♪ Oh no ♪
1700
01:26:57,170 --> 01:26:59,010
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
1701
01:26:59,090 --> 01:27:01,590
♪ Saira, there she goes ♪
1702
01:27:01,680 --> 01:27:04,050
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1703
01:27:04,140 --> 01:27:07,720
♪ There she goes, oh,
Saira, there she goes ♪
1704
01:27:07,810 --> 01:27:11,060
♪ Will she save Kiki, no one knows ♪
1705
01:27:11,140 --> 01:27:14,520
♪ Yeah, well I'm so done ♪
1706
01:27:14,610 --> 01:27:15,610
♪ Woo ♪